Running through my mind

Broken:Rebuilt

2012-01-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

This past weekend we had an amazing winter youth retreat. This is the third retreat that our kids have done that wasn't just Chris and I taking them on a trip to Lake Arrowhead for the weekend with a little bible teaching and some snowboarding thrown in. We went to a Christian camp up in Big Bear with Calvary Chapel Joshua Springs; they rock by the way! The whole thing was awesome.
The theme was Broken: Rebuild and like the theme suggest lots of break down was done and lots of rebuilding with Jesus Christ as a foundation was done.

Chris and I have begun to notice a theme though with being in ministry, specifically with preaching/teaching: there is some sort of unspoken rule that you live out your sermon before you give it. Chris had the opportunity to speak to the campers the first night and his topic for the retreat was broken! And broken we had been.

The week leading up to camp was pretty insane and intense in our house. Chris and I were not particularly nice to one another and our kids were pretty cranky. Work was more stressful than normal but Friday was just insane and after being awake for about 30 minutes new that the enemy didn't want this to happen! Chris and I got into a fight (about something stupid). Auntie took Ethan to school, I stormed out (angrily I might add) to work and Chris went about his day trying to dot all the "i's" and cross all the "t's" for camp. Chris had to, unexpectedly, go pick up a kid whose ride bailed at the last minute (which he was happy to do). So Chris was getting ready to go and get him around noon. I was leaving work at noon to go home and pack my things then was going to pick up my kids and go trade them with a friend for her high school daughter who was come with us to the retreat. 15 minutes from home Chris calls to ask if I had left work yet and I could tell in his voice something bad had happened. Turns out Ethan fell from a stool at school and school reported that his tooth went through his lip. Well let's just say for Ethan that is an automatic trip to the ER.

Chris was already pretty beat up by the enemy at that point (but other stuff that happened that day) and immediately thought I wouldn't be able to come to the retreat at all, which would have made it the fourth one I had to miss, in a row. I had a feeling that the enemy wasn't done with us so when Chris told me about Ethan I was eerily calm, I was expecting something. I went to pick him up from school. He was disappointed to see me as he knew my presence at school meant he was on his way to the hospital. We stopped at home to get his medication said goodbye to dad, who left to go pick up the youth kid and head to church to meet the bus and the rest of the kids. We had decided that I would take Ethan to the ER and we would take the afternoon one step at a time in regards of me attending the retreat. We prayed before we all ran out of the house in our separate directions. God gave us all a calm and Ethan and I continued on to the ER.

The ER trip was fantastic. About 15 minutes before the bus pulled out the parking lot I was able to let them know that Ethan was fine. He didn't actually puncture his lip but he probably just bit his lip really hard on both sides when he fell. So since there was no puncture he didn't need stitches just one shot of meds and we were going to be out the door. Since Ethan was much better than we all anticipated we decided that I would finish up at the ER and one of our youth workers would wait and we would drive up together when everything was finished.

Her and I arrived at the camp at about 10pm. It had taken the kids over 5 hours (should have taken 3) to get there as the traffic was the worst anyone had seen in a long time. Chris arrived 15 minutes before he was to go on and speak. But as he arrived he found out that the other church's bus had broken down with 50 junior highers on it and they had no way to get them all up there. So he talked to our bus driver (whose services for us were donated by the owner of the company) into going down and getting those kids, twice; it took two trips to get them all. The last group arrived 10 minutes before I did. Chris did his sermon and shared with the kids how broken he felt at that moment right then and there! But God does amazing things and by His grace everything worked out. Ethan was fine, I got to go to the retreat, our bus made it on time for Chris to give his sermon.

Oh and did I tell you that the guest speaker had to have an emergency surgery to remove infected tonsils and wasn't supposed to be recovered enough to speak, he did (and I will eventually share more about him and his ministry). And the guest worship leader/guitar player had his forearm bitten and mauled by a dog a week before the trip; he played and was amazing! The other couple that came with us to lead the kids had a death of close family member just two days before; they came and were blessed and were awesome with the kids (we couldn't have done it without them)! The head youth pastor of the other church found out he had a medical condition and needed to have surgery immediately following the retreat (today), but he was there and happy and gave a great sermon too.

It was amazing, despite the brokenness God was there and moved so mightily in the kids and adults lives. Numerous re-dedications, some new believers in Christ, and some walls broken down from some kids who have had to go through way too much in their short life. Not to mention lots of friendships and bonding. God won this one. Nice try enemy, our foundation is build on GOD!

2011

2011-12-31T23:38:00.000-08:00

2011 is coming to a quick close. I am so grateful for all the wonderful things God has done for our family this past year. Our family was blessed with the addition of our little Kinlee Joy, who truly is a joy to us all with her sunny disposition. Chris had an opportunity to join the faculty at our college alma mater, Point Loma Nazarene University, as an adjuct professor. It was hard work but he enjoyed teaching his first semester and is going back for a second this coming semester. 2011 also saw healing at our church body and some much growth has occurred. We went from having one full time person on staff (the pastor) to having the pastor and five part time staff members, one of which is Chris as the youth pastor. We have been so blessed by the youth group and this process and can't wait to see what God has in store for this coming year.
2011 saw our Ethan grow from a toddler to a little boy. He started a new preschool and loves it. Unfortunately we have also seen a lot of hospital trips for Ethan this year, but the doctors are still feel treating him on an as need basis is the best way for his body and we gratefully agree. We are so fortunate to have a wonderful medical team to work with for Ethan.

I have no idea what 2012 will hold, but I do know that God is awesome and will have some amazing things for each and everyone of you out there. I am excited as I was asked to join a small bible study, bible discipleship for this coming year. I have been praying that something like this would come along and I am so excited to see God reveals to me this coming year.

I pray for you all in the coming year; 2012 is going to be a blessed year!

Bethadeezoo

2011-12-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

After many years of people telling my mom to start selling her crafty creations and sew beauties, she has finally bitten the bullet and opened an online store. My mom is very talented when it comes to sewing and it comes very easy to her. She has been to make all sorts of amazing things for my kids and my niece. A few weeks before we launched the website we went to a handmade craft fair and sold some goods. It was a blast.

My mom's store is Bethadee Zoo. When I was a little girl I used to call elephants Bethadee's, no I didn't just call them that I adamantly insisted that they were not elephants and in fact they were bethadee's. And so that is were the name Bethadee Zoo came from.

Right now the website is just starting out and has a few little things, mainly toddler backpacks (which my munchkins have and they are perfect for those toddler years), a quilt for a little boy, and some totes/purses for mom of course. In the near future she is planning to have other items. So you will just have to keep checking it out to see. Go check out her store envy site!

Cute purse!

I Spy boy's Quilt

Ethan and his backpack from his Gamma. It goes with us everywhere.

We would love it if you went and check out her website! Thanks!!

God is good in ALL things-a testimony

2011-11-29T18:40:00.001-08:00

I know this post is a few days late.

I have been in a very reflective mood lately; maybe it is the thanksgiving holiday, maybe it is all the changes that have been going on around here or maybe it is me just getting older, either way I have been reflecting and have been overwhelmed by God's love, grace, faithfulness and sovereignty.

I am sure that the journey to now started a very very long time ago, but I want to look back about seven years ago (yes I know it is a long joureny and if you don't want to read it all that's fine, I really just want to get the story/testimony down and out of my head so as to not be forgotten). Chris and I were just married. At that time we did not have a regular church to attend. We just sort of bounced from one to another trying them out and never really found one that felt right. After some coaching from some friends of ours we traveled from Point Loma to east county San Diego to attend their church about a 30 minute drive. We liked the church, a lot! Over the next couple months we went their off and on but told other people there that we were just visiting, it was too far to make this our home church. Within a month we ended up buying a condo in east county, not in our original plan (and frankly seemed a bit sudden). The church became our home church.

We kept from getting too involved though, we had planned to leave the San Diego area (we figured it was very expensive to live here and would not be able to afford it) as soon as I graduated from grad school. The time came, I graduated and despite applying all over the place the only offers that came were here in San Diego (I applied and interviewed here only for the experience). The job I got was at a top district, I thought the interview was horrendous and cried at my performance once I got in my car. The same day I accepted the job was offered a job at a big ad agency, he had not been looking for a new job. We figured God had something in mind so we stayed.

The youth pastor at our small church left; at the time there really wasn't any kids. Eventually a few boys started coming. Chris and I talked about working with youth, but felt that at that time it was unrealistic and we could not devote the attention it deserved. At the time Chris was working about 60 hours a week (on a good week). Another guy stepped up in the ministry spot. I got pregnant, was put on bedrest. The youth group grew. The guy asked Chris to help him out, here and there and to plan the winter retreat. I had Ethan, we praised God for keeping us here, close to a fabulous children's hospital that has specialists there for his exact diagnosis (there isn't alot of them). Ethan was only a few weeks old when we went on the first winter retreat with the kids. Eventually Chris' role in the youth group got bigger and bigger. When Ethan was 6 months old my babysitter (can I call you that Silla? you were and are so much more) moved. Chris' Ad job took him away from home a lot, he rarily saw Ethan and me and often times had to work on Sunday's. After much discussion and prayer we felt that it was time Chris quit his job and opened his own business from home. So Chris became a stay at home dad and worked on building his own design business and got more involved in church.

Eventually Chris became the head of the youth group. He went to the youth pastors conference and came home and told me that he felt God was giving him this calling, it wasn't just him helping out anymore. I felt the same but feared saying it out loud. I knew to many pastors kids who had become prodigal children, I didn't think I could handle that, in my mind and spoken out loud we were just helping out. The pastor and his wife invited, and along with Chris, encouraged me to go to the pastor's wives conference. I resisted for a bit, but after praying I took the time off work to go. I was humbled. Lady after lady got up and spoke about their prodigal children or the tragedies their families faced in ministry (the overall theme was that God is good in ALL things!). I heard about these kids who died tragically, or got wrapped up in drugs and alcohol, all the things that I was afraid of. I prayed, I cried and in the end knew and had to admit that God is good in all things and that God was calling us to ministry. I came home and we talked about it and we continued to work with our youth kids waiting for specific direction from God.

A tragedy hit our Church family and rocked Chris and I to our core about 6 months after that. Chris and I had an honest conversation about getting out of ministry. In my human mind I didn't think God could redeem the situation. So many people were hurt and broken it would be easier to walk away and forget that it all ever happened. But in my spirit I felt comfort in the crisis. I can't explain it, I knew that some how some way good would come from it, God would be glorified and we needed to press on. It was a time of great emotional conflict.

It has been a year and a half since the tragedy. In that time we were in a holding pattern waiting on God and what He would bring. It was a time to be still and listen and know that He is God. I can tell you God has indeed been glorified. The negative things that everyone planned on happening as a result didn't occur. The church is stronger today than it ever has been and is growing. It is different than it had been but God has been glorified in ways that were unimaginable.

About 6 months ago, after lots of prayer and counsel we felt that God was us...to more ministry. We weren't sure what that meant at the time and still don't totally know. We just know we are open vessles for Christ. Two weeks ago our church added staff members to it (prior to know there has only been one paid staff person, the pastor), Chris was added to the staff on a part time basis. It has been awesome to see where the Lord has taken us in these last seven years and how God's hand was in it all. We don't know what the future holds, we are looking to God for guidance and waiting for Him to direct the rest of our path. Who knows maybe one day Chris will be in full time ministry with his family serving by his side to God's glory. I am truly humbled by the things God has done for my family and I can honestly say that God is good in ALL things. I have seen it!

This week

2011-11-10T22:37:00.001-08:00

Wow this has been insane week. I can't believe all the things that have happened in the last 6-7 days.
Here it is in a nutshell:
1. Traded in the Jeep for a Mini-Van. Got a killer deal on a Honda
2. Had Kinlee's dedication
3. attended two church services on Sunday and Chris taught youth group
4. Hosted both sides of the family for Kinlee's dedication lunch (those who know me well, know that this is draining for me...I am not a big group kind of person; very out of my comfort zone)
5. Changed banks and also got a different car loan for the van and cut our payments by 100 bucks.
6. Ethan's leg "randomly" started hurting and eventually he lost all mobility resulting in a 24 hour stay at Children's with a joint bleed in the knee. 24 hour meds for the next 3 days. Trying to keep an active three year old still
7. wrote a psych report at 2 am (after leaving hospital)
8. attended an IEP meeting via phone (for the psych report written at 2am)
9. Chris taught 2 classes
10. Chris had first staff meeting at Calvary Chapel as the youth pastor (that's right I said staff!)
11. Kinlee got her first tooth and the second is just below the surface
12. Drove (40 minutes away) the new car loan check to the dealer to pay off the original loan
13. Worked three days this week (took at day of when E was in hospital and Friday is a holiday)
14. attempted to clean the house (not totally done yet)
15. Made gifts for a baby shower

I am very tired and so is Chris. We are having trouble processing all the stuff. Lots of awesomeness and then some pretty bad lows! But man oh man I wouldn't trade this week for anything! God is sovereign everything that happened this week, the good and the bad, are for His glory. We praise Him for this week!

And eventually I might get in to blog about a few of these specific things.

Oh yea and Kinlee had her 6 month photos. Thank you to Auntie Sam for taking her photos. Love them

from the eyes of a three year old

2011-10-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

Tonight when I was getting ready to feed Kinlee, Ethan asked if he could take some photos with my camera. He loves to take photos. This is a photo stream of what he took tonight. 10 minutes in our house from the eyes of a three and a half year old.

Please excuse our messy house. :)

Kinlee's favorite "toy"

My feet

Ethan's hand

Our nook (Silla- that's the tub with the scrapbook items from our Christmas album, hahaha)

Wow our table is a mess

Dad's office

Door in daddy's office

daddy's office from another angle

office chair

our wood floor

my desk

Ethan's foot (he thought this was funny)

Such a cutie patootie, my big boy is. His photos did show me how much I need to clean though. I really need more hours in my day! What did you do tonight?

The Threadery

2011-10-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

As further proof that I am embracing my crafty side, I give you The Threadery!

I am so excited. After years of trying to convince my mom that she has a God given talent that she should shared with more than just her kids, grandchildren and their friends, she has finally realized this and agreed to be a vendor at a handmade, vintage market. The catch was that I had to do it with her. This posed a slight problem as I didn't know what sort of a craft I could come up with. Well what will I be selling you ask...coasters! I made a bunch of cute little coasters that I am sure everyone will need for their home. Oh and I also helped mom come up with her both design. My mom is selling all sorts of her beautiful sew goods (mostly baby and children's items). I am not so good at the sewing yet. Although I have sewn two things with my new, vintage sewing machine. I guess I should blog about those soon. I need more time!

Back to The Threadery, it is in the north orange county area and we will be selling as Bethadee Zoo. If you live in the area, or you just want to come on down, please come check it out. There is going to be some great vendors there. Hope to see you this Saturday!

Laundry Detergent

2011-10-15T21:07:00.000-07:00

I have recently become addicted to pinterest. It is a wonderful virtual corkboard where I have found lots of wonderful craft ideas. My mother tried for 18 years to open up my crafty side and I resisted, a whole 30 years. Well now I am all about it.

One day while looking around pinterest I found a do-it-yourself laundry detergent. After a few days of thinking about it I decided to do it. I have a couple people in my family with VERY sensitive skin and laundry detergent is expensive. So I decided to do it, even though some members of my family thought it was a bit odd.

The ingredients can all be found at you local Walmart in the laundry aisle. All together it was about $8 for all the ingredients, but the Borax and the Baking and Washing Soda would make way more batches. I am estimating that this the Borax, Baking and Washing soda containers I bought will last me a year. That is a huge savings over a $15 bottle of tide, plus it doesn't have all those additives!

1 bar Fels-Naptha bar soap
1 cup Borax
1 cup Washing Soda
1/4 cup Baking Soda

Grate the Fels-Naptha Bar. I used a cheese grated, but you can use a food processor or a Magic bullet.

Add all the ingredients and stir.

Then find a cute glass jar (okay any container really) and put it in the laundry room (please ignore my dinged up Dryer in the photo, it was a craigslist purchase).

You only need about 2 tablespoons for a load of laundry. So although this doesn't look like a ton, it will last a long time. It smells good too. It has a really clean, slight hint of lemon to it. And it was super easy to make. It only took about 10 minutes and that was only because I kept getting distracted by the kids.

I have made a few other projects I have gotten from pinterest. But more on that later.

A Parent's Love

2011-09-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

As I sat at the red light waiting for it to turn green, he asked me why he was going with me to his sister’s doctors appointment. I reminded him that he had a hurt arm and that we had to go to his doctor too. He immediately knew what that meant and as I turned around to look him straight in the eyes he had tears in his eyes and told me he didn't want to go to get pokie's (shots). My eyes started to tear up as I told him how sorry I was, but that this was what was best for him. A single tear ran down my cheek and I told him it would be okay that he would get his shot of medicine and then his arm would be better and we go about our day as normal.

This wasn't the first time he needed to get meds, no there have been many other times before. This wasn't the first time I teared up about having to have my son get shots to treat the hemophilia, no there were many other times before. But this was the first time I cried in front of him. I am always careful not to get emotional about his "ouchies." I don't want him to freak out; I have always waited until after the treatment is over and he has gone to bed to cry. He is looking to me, to see my reaction. At his age, my reaction will dictate how he will react. He is looking to me to keep him safe. He is looking to me for love and to make him feel secure in every situation that we face. It is my job.

As I went about the rest of the day, I couldn't help but think about God and how hard it must be for Him to love us so much that He has to put us through the refiners fire to make us whole and pure in Him. That pure perfect love, when you don't just stand there watching someone do something you know is not good for them, but instead you gently tell them what they need to hear. Maybe they need to know how their actions will impact their life, or how their actions impact others life's. All to often I think we are too quick to nod our head and smile, instead of offering instruction and guidance, true love.

Our son trusts his daddy and I to protect him and take care of him. Unfortunately it sometimes mean we have to restrict him, or we have to take him to get pokies because his body needs the medicine. He doesn't like it, it makes him sad. But maybe he occasionally needs to see that mommy and daddy are just as sad about his ouchies as he is. I trust God has the best for me and sometimes it is good to be reminded that He sheds tears for me.

Jumperoo

2011-09-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

Kinlee at four months of age enjoying her jumperoo for the first time.

Ethan at 5 months enjoying his jumperoo at for the first time.
They are both so cute and I think they look so much alike and yet so totally different. How is that? Amazing! Oh and if you can't quite tell from these photos, she has is about five pounds more than he was at the same age. She is growing so fast! Well Ethan also grew pretty slow and still grows slow. Maybe because he doesn't eat much. hum.....

Kinlee-3 months

2011-08-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Wow three months has gone by incredible fast. On one hand it seems like you have always been here with our family and on the hand it seems like just yesterday me and daddy were bringing you home.

But so much has changed. You made our family go from three to four. You are the perfect addition to our little family, God knew just who we needed. You are such a laid back little girl. You don't seem to mind when your big brother runs up to you and kiss you over and over again. He loves to get right up in your face. And in his world you are "MY baby," as he often calls you. I can't wait to watch you grown up and run around with your brother in the backyard.

You have grown so much since you were born. You went from being at the 5% percentile for weight to the 88% in weight and now the 95% in height. You are almost 14 pounds and are 24 inches long (at your 2 month appointment). I love your rolls that you have on your little arms and legs. Too cute for words!

You are sleeping well. AS long as you are swaddled we can put you down in your crib and you will go right to sleep on your own. You sleep from about 9pm to 5 or 6 am. You love to suck your hand or finger and you sort of like your paci. You love to give out smiles and you are trying to laugh. You have the most beautiful smile and it melts your daddy's heart. You don't like tummy time and you will tolerate laying on your back for about 5-10 minutes. You don't roll over yet, but you are getting close. You rolled over on our bed today, but you had a little help since it was on a bed.

You are a very happy baby and you almost never cry, except when you are hot, you despise being hot! One a trip to orange county last weekend we had to move you to Poppi and Meemaw's car because the air conditioning vents in their car were right above your car seat. You went from screaming in mommy and daddy's car to sleeping calmly within 5 minutes. You hate the HEAT! Since we don't have air conditioning in the house you often take your naps in your swing or in your pack n play. Your favorite place to be is in your swing. You much rather be at home in your little routine swinging in your swing than you would going out and bough (total opposite of your brother, he always did better outside).

You are a beautiful little creation of God's. We all love you so much and can't wait to see how God continues to grow you and mold you and our family. Happy 3 months Kinlee Joy.

Three

2011-08-13T20:07:00.001-07:00

Ethan is three years old and Kinlee is 3 months. I thought it would be fun to lay them side by side and get a photo. They weren't so much digging the idea of a photo. Ethan wanted to continue running around outside (notice his scrapped up face due to a fall earlier in the week), and Kinlee doesn't much like laying flat out on her back or stomach (notice the pouty bottom lip).

This photo was taken right after the last one. Kinlee is full on crying and Ethan was yawning he was bored. These two make me laugh. Love my munchkins!

Pieces of K

2011-08-03T10:39:00.001-07:00

I love babies and I must say Kinlee is the sweetest! Well maybe I am biased, but who cares.
I love how tiny babies are and how cute all the little pieces of them are.

I mean what's not to love! Looking at these tiny pieces I can't help but be reminded of how amazing God is! God created these little pieces that make up this tiny little being.

And this tiny little being will one day grow up into a full grown adult. It boggles my mind. My God is GREAT!

LOVE

2011-07-26T21:55:00.001-07:00

What is LOVE? It is such a popular word. People love to sing about it, talk about it write about it. You hear the word love all the time. But what does it really mean.

Our society (especially my generation and younger) seems to think that love means there is no wrong. If I love the person I can't tell them I dislike their action or that I think their action is wrong. If you love you must accept it all. I beg to differ. The Bible shows us that there is different types of love, and before I had children I honestly didn't understand the different types of love. Well I knew them, read about them, but I just didn't have full knowledge of them. Having my kids has taught me more about God's love, than I think anyone can. I love my kids more than I can imagine, I honestly think I would jump in front of a bus for them (I hope I don't have to though). And even though I would risk my life for them, there are times when I have to correct them. It doesn't mean I don't love them, it just means that their behavior is not acceptable and I need to correct/instruct firmly but with love. I correct because I love them and want them to grow up and turn into wonderful adults who are respectful, moral, God loving men and women. If I didn't correct them, they would turn into absolute brats. That's what happens when you let a three year old do whatever it is that makes them happy.

I am honestly tired of hearing people defend their behavior by bringing up love..."shouldn't we all just love people." Yes we should and I love people, but that does not mean I have to accept every one's behavior. The bottom line is we are all sinners, we have all done things unpleasing in the eyes of God and yet due to his amazing and wonderful GRACE I am still saved, he still loves me, but he does not like the sin. I love Ethan but when I tell him to stop running in the house and he does it anyway, he gets a punishment. It doesn't change how much I love him, it just means that it can be dangerous for him to run in the house. He can fall and hurt himself (which in his case can be very serious), or he could hurt his young sister. I am correcting his action to protect him (and his sister), not because I don't love him.

I just don't understand the argument that if it has to do with love then it can't be wrong. Some people love to do drugs, so should we make that legal, by all means if it makes them happy and they love it then who am I to say no. If two young teens want to have premarital sex because they "love" each other, really we should just let that slide and watch the statistics of sexually transmitted disease, teen pregnancy, and abortion go up. Just because you love doesn't make it okay and safe and healthy for us and just because I disagree with your behavior and choices doesn't mean I love you less, it just means that I don't like/love your behavior. God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but he does not command us to love the sin and God's word clear in the things we should not do and that are sin. The Bible is also clear and says to "go and sin no more." John 8:11. Not go and keep doing the behavior you have been doing because it makes you happy and I love you and so since I love you I don't want to tell you you are sinning. No He made it clear AND SIN NO MORE. God loves us all, but God hates sin. He can't even be in the presence of sin and it is only by Jesus shedding his blood and covering us do we get to receive the GRACE.

Zucchini Cake

2011-07-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

Tonight at church we had a potluck and we were supposed to bring a dish from our ethnic heritage. Well since I am about 7 different things, I thought about bringing a Heinz 57 ketchup bottle, but instead I decided to bring something that I have always liked...a Zucchini Cake!

It just so happened that I had been given a rather large zucchini the other day so that made this pretty nice! The cake was delicious and I think most people who tried it tonight enjoyed it! So I have decided to share the recipe with you. Hope my mom doesn't mind, since I got it from her. Love you mom!

Ingredients:
3 eggs
2 cups sugar
1 cup oil
3 tsp vanilla
2 cups grated zucchini
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 tsp cinnamon

Combine eggs, sugar, oil, and vanilla.

Beat until smooth.

Add zucchini and stir to combine.

Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Stir dry ingredients into zucchini mixture. Pour into greased and floured 9x13 pan.

Bake at 325 for 50 minutes.

I then like to frost my zucchini cake with a cream cheese frosting. I didn't make my frosting from scratch, I bought it. Me and the Betty Crocker company have a good relationship when I comes to frostings.

DELICIOUS!!

Recipe Ideas

2011-07-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

So have been given a bunch of fruit and veggies that were grown in our pastors yard. I have so many I am afraid some things might go bad.

We have lemons
(which I usually turn into lemonade, but I was looking for another idea)

Zucchini's

Oranges (also often becomes juice).
I also have a ton of peaches, which are absolutely amazing. I stopped buying peaches in the store because everytime I bought them they were dry and chalky. But since I know where these are grown and they were just picked off the tree on Tuesday, they are wonderful.

So if you have any recipe ideas let me know. I seem to be out of creative ideas for food right now.

Pampering

2011-07-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

I got a hair cut today. Chris says not many people will notice the difference since the front didn't really get cut much at all. Really the back got chopped and the rest just got groomed. But it feels so much lighter, which is good because in the heat and abnormal humidity we have been having I have had the urge to shave it all off.

Here is the before photo:

And the after:
The lighting was much more favorable, to my non make-up face, at night when I got home from my hair cut. Anyway, tonight was just a much needed pampering moment. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Bookslings

2011-07-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

It is amazing the things I can accomplish when not working. I have had tons of little projects planned since we moved into this house. I am getting some crossed off the list, the question is whether I will get them all done by the time I go back to work.

One of my projects was to make Bookslings to go in Ethan's room and to hold his books. I was super excited about this project. And no this was not a project for my sewing machine...that will be coming soon...I hope. This was a no-sew project. If I was still in the habit of blogging I would have taken photos of the project while I was making it, but I am a bit out of practice. So I only have a photo of the finished project.

I think they turned out pretty cute and now Ethan's books are in a nice location in his room (instead of in Chris's office) where he can get them out himself. It took me about four hours to make them. I don't exactly have all the tools required from some craft projects (like fabric sheers so my coupon cutting scissors had to do and man are they dull) so it took me longer than it needed to. Overall it cost me about $15-20 per sling also, a little more than I was hoping, but not too expensive. The best part, Ethan loves having his books right there for him!

Whirlwind

2011-07-05T21:48:00.001-07:00

Next Monday Kinlee will be two months old. Life has been pretty busy around here since Kinlee was born but I still can't believe how fast it has gone by. In her two months of life Kinlee has been to her first wedding (complete with hotel stay), had a million kisses from her big brother, been to the beach, been to Lake Gregory, gone to the beach (Coronado), been to a waterpark, seen (or slept though) her first firework show on Fourth of July, been to the Del Mar Fair, enjoyed a youth group pool party...and so many other things. It has been one crazy whirlwind and Kinlee has done AMAZING! She is by far the most laidback baby I think I have ever met. She just goes with the flow and seems to be happy checking out all the new scenery she gets to see. Here are a few photos of her first two months.

Welcome to the world Kinlee!

Ethan is such a proud big brother!

In her dress, ready to go to a wedding.

At the children's museum

At the beach... She was helping us lift her brother over the waves. :)

One month old

Father's day

She is a perfect addition to our family and we are loving getting to know her better. We love you Kinlee!

DuFour Four

2011-06-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

It makes my heart happy that we are a family of four!

Kinlee is only nine days old in this photo. More photos of her portion of the photoshoot to come. I am hoping to have a few free moments in the next couple days.

Vintage

2011-06-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

I got a new toy a couple months ago. Well it is new to me and I love it! I just recently made room for it and can't wait to sit down and make my first project with it.

This was my grandmothers sewing machine that she bought when my mom was a little girl. My mom (who is a rocking seamstress, quilter and master of the sewing machine and has her own blog here) learned to sew on this when she was in junior high.

Isn't it so cute! I love the vintage, retro look!

In all honestly I have not done much sewing in my life. I took home economics and my mom taught me to sew when I was younger but I just never really picked it up as a hobby. Well in the last couple years I have seen some things in the stores that are a small fortune that I think "seriously, I could make that." So I had been wanting one for a while. I let you know what I end up making first!

brief update

2011-06-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

Our little Bean (as we have started to call her) is six weeks old today. I can't believe how fast time has gone and how much has changed and transpired in that time. She is starting to gain some good weight and even has some chubby cheeks. Just tonight we had to move her from newborn PJ's to 0-3, she grew out in length, not width. She is one tall bean! Our eating issues have not resolved the way I would have wanted them to, but I am coming to terms with them. The main issue is she is eating and gaining weight! She still loves to cuddle and will falls asleep so quickly when she is cuddling. She loves to sleep and almost never cries; only when hungry or has some gas struggles. She is a precious addition to our family and she is adored so much by her big brother and her mommy and daddy.
Bubbha is growing so big and it is amazing to watch him be a big brother. He is always wanting to give her kisses, calls her his baby and if she makes a peeps finds a paci and gives it to her. Although he had some issues adjusting, behaviorally (only to mom and dad), to a sister he is starting to do really well. He amazes me with the knowledge that he has. He has learned to spell his first and last name, orally. He is enjoying his summer playing with his friends and going to new spots in SD.
Chris is getting ready to teach a class at our college Alma Mater in the fall. He is very excited. God is working in our family and there are lots of things that are getting ready to change. Right now many things are up in the air and it is hard for me to be patient and not know how all will work. But now we are praying and waiting for God to reveal his plan for our family.

Kinlee Joy

2011-05-21T16:33:00.001-07:00

Well it is official we are now a family of four (well five if you count Auntie Sam).

Kinlee Joy Dufour
Born-Wednesday May 11th 1:34am
7 pounds and a half and ounce.
19.5 inches long

On Tuesday, late afternoon, I had a prenatal doctors appointment. I was planning to go by myself but at the last minute Chris told me he really wanted to go to this appointment. So we asked Auntie if she minded watching Ethan for an hour or so (or so we thought). Once they removed my stitch (about two weeks before Kinlee was born) I started having some random signs and symptoms of preclampsia: off and on high blood pressure, a headache, and a few other symptoms. However since it was only ever one symptom at a time, the doctors were never really concerned. Well on Tuesday I again had high blood pressure at my appointment, by the end of the appointment though it was gone. But I had also been feeling pretty crummy the whole day. I thought I might have been in early labor but didn't want to get my hopes up. The doctor told me she thought I would have Kinlee within 24 hours but that she wanted to send me to the lab to have some blood work done to test for preclampsia and then she wanted me to head over to triage to be monitored while we waited for the lab results. So we called Auntie and told her we would be a bit later and head out to the lab and then triage. Once we got to triage my contractions started to become pretty rhythmic (I had been having braxton hicks since my surgery in November), and over the course of two hours they started to get stronger. Still I didn't want to get my hopes up. The nurse was certain I was in early labor but that I would be sent home to wait. Then my labs came back. I didn't have preclampsia yet, but my liver enzymes were high and showing that at any moment I could become preclampsic and she felt that it was safer for me to have Kinlee as soon as possible. The nurse started to lay out a plan...I was going to be taken up to labor and delivery and put on magnesium (to treat the impending preclampsia), I would have to have my blood pressure monitored every 10 minutes (both of these things meant I was now strapped to a hospital bed by an IV and blood pressure cuff, not my favorite thing when I am in labor. I like to walk), I was also going to be given pitocin to start labor. I was almost in tears. I really didn't want it to go this way (again with me trying to control things). I didn't want her to come unless it was God's timing and being given pitocin to induce labor, I just wasn't sure if it was God's timing (I am not knocking those who have been induced and done the pitocin thing, for me it is just fear). So we prayed, I asked my parents (who were on there way down to SD) to pray. Well in the hour it took them to get me up to Labor and Delivery my contractions had intensified a lot and I had progressed a lot on my own. Yea God! So my doctor felt that since I was progressing nicely, she would forget the magnesium and the pitocin. She wanted to see what would happen if she popped my water and just monitored my blood pressure. And then my body did the rest, with the help of an epidural. Those contractions are way stronger when you have to stay in a bed; at least that was my experience. So at 1:34 in the morning little Kinlee Joy was born in God's timing without actually being induced. God really does answer prayers.
My parents were able to make it down in time and when they arrived at my house to watch Ethan they were surprised to find a very hyper and excited boy. After trying to get him to go to bed, they eventually just brought him to the hospital. So shortly after Kinlee was born he got to meet his baby sister. He adores her. He had been telling us for weeks that "Kinlee is taking a long day to get here." When he walked in to meet her he looked so much older to me and as days have gone on I can't help but think how tall he suddenly looks. He is going to be a great big brother to her as they grow up.
So now we are trying to adjust to life as a family of four. It is an adjustment. It takes us so much time to get out of the house. Tomorrow our goal is for all four of us to make it to church, which for us is both first and second service. Hopefully we can make that happen.
Kinlee is such a wonderful addition to our family. She looks a lot like her brother. She is extremely mellow and laidback and Chris and I are so curious to see how her personality develops over the years.

If you read this entire post and are now here to the end I would like to ask for prayer for a couple things. First Kinlee is not breastfeeding as well as we all would like and she is not gaining weight well. We have had to supplement and are really struggling. Also a couple days after she was born I developed a hormonal/pregnancy related rash called PUPPS. It is usually a third trimester sort of thing, but there are rare cases where you can get it post partum. It is extremely itchy and all over. There is no telling how long it can last and there is no real treatment for it since I am breastfeeding. And then finally for Ethan. He adores Kinlee but we are seeing some regression in some behaviors. We are trying to be sensitive to his needs and at the same time not let certain behaviors go.

Well that is all. I am sure I will blog more soon. I have the whole summer off, so hopefully I will have more time.

Answered Prayer

2011-03-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

God does answer prayers. Sometimes when he answers it is different than we thought, or planned for. What is the saying man plans, God laughs.

The prayer was for a healthy pregnancy, that my surgery to hold little Kinlee in would work and allow me a bit more freedom than I had with Ethan. Funny thing is I never expected God to answers as big and loudly as he did. Yes God is still reminding me that He is the one in the know and knows all and His plan is best.
We had my 28 week appointment. I was quiet nervous, they were going to see how the surgery was holding up. They had not checked on that for two months and I was fearful that it would not be good and I would be put on bedrest. That was my fear, but I was hoping that I would be put on modified or light duty and not have to work the rest of the pregnancy. Well neither one happened. God really is in the miracle business and at my 28 week appointment I was told that everything that measure so miserably with Ethan was measuring above average for a person at this stage in pregnancy. So I asked my doctor, well what about work, and she informed me that there was nothing that she could write me out of work for. Yea for the miracle! But man I wanted to be done with work. haha
When I first got pregnancy with Ethan I just tried to get used to the idea that I would not be able to do everything, that I might end up on bedrest or limited mobility at some point and I got used to that idea and even embarrassed it. What sent me over the edge with Ethan, I was looking forward to. I had a list of things I could do this time to entertain myself. Don't get me wrong, I did not want complications, I just wanted a little quiet time. We are beyond ecstatic that Kinlee's pregnancy is complication free and that she is on her way to being born a healthy little girl as a result of a normal pregnancy. But I won't lie, I got used to the idea of leaving work a bit early this year. But God is always teaching me (and hopefully one day I will fully get it) that I am not in charge, I don't know what is best for me and He knows the greater plan and He has me and our family in His hand. I would much rather be in His hand than in my own. I just forget that sometimes. It is good God reminds me.

And praise Him for the wonderful miracle that this pregnancy has been. For those that have prayed with us, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are so excited that our little girl will be here in a couple months and that she will have gotten here with a pretty drama free pregnancy. God still does miracles! :)

A Friends Blog

2011-03-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

Almost a year ago I put a prayer request for my friend Tiffany. Tiffany is the sister of one of my very best friends (who I met in college). Tiffany lived with me and her sister after we graduated from college. Tiffany has been fighting cancer for 10 years, on and off.
I haven't been so great and keeping people updated on her progress, but now, if you would like, you can go check out Tiffany's new blog where she talks about how she is dealing with her cancer and treatment.
Please check out Tiffany's blog and continue to pray for her and her family.

Tiffany's blog

THIRTY

2011-03-12T16:26:00.001-08:00

About a year ago I posted a 30 before 30 list. Before I hit the big 30 I had a bucket list of sorts; things I wanted to accomplish. I didn't even come close to achieving them all. And really I am not that disappointed. I have come to realize that those things would have been fun to do, but they were not in God's plan for this past year of my life and there were plenty of things that did happen in my 29th year that I never thought would and that have brought me closer to Him. My 29th year was on that I will never forget. I learn how even the most challenging, and at that time horrific, things can show God's grace and mercy and he will use it all to bring us to a closer relationship with Him. My desire for my 30th year is not a long list of tangible things I want to accomplish it is simply the desire to live everyday of my life bringing honor and glory to Him.

But just for kicks, I thought I would repost my list and you can see what I thought I would do and what I actually did do with some added notes on some of them about where I am in the process. :) Happy reading.

Original Post
A while back a good friend posted a list of 30 things she wanted to do before she turned 30. I became inspired and now that I have just under a year left until I turn 30, I have made my own.

30 Before 30
1. Weekend vacation with husband
2. Go to France -as much as I wanted to do this and visit some of our dearest friends, it was most definitely not in God's timing, but oh how we tried to make it fit!
3. Move to a new house
4. Get our debt snowball rolling
5. Get on a regular devotional schedule- I am working on this and am doing a reading through the bible in chronological order. I am enjoying it. But I have slipped quite a few times. I am also now going to our weekly women's study at church and am loving that!
6. Finish Christmas scrapbook-don't even get me started (no comments Silla).
7. Have a mommy and Ethan Day 'O Fun
8. Go to Hawaii-same deal as the trip to France
9. Take a cake decorating class
10. Get a new family portrait-maternity photos are scheduled for next week, and we will get a new family photo then.
11. Scrapbook night with friends
12. Walk on the beach and collect seashells
13. Go on a Missions Trip
14. Work on wedding scrapbook- not yet. We are trying to figure out how to scan the film negatives to the computer so I can have them as digital images to work with. Yea I know, film negatives!!!
15. Have a girls night out (or in)-for my birthday, Chris planned a mini semi-surprise party with some of my closest girl-friends
16. Get on a regular workout schedule
17. Have an Auntie and Madison day
18. Get on a cleaning schedule
19. Fishing with Ethan and Chris
20. Everyday remember that life is precious and not guaranteed
21. Get more involved in Hemophilia Association
22. Go to Disneyland
23. Go see a taping of a live TV show
24. Get new larger coffee mugs (current ones are too small for my caffeine needs)- no but I have cut back on my caffeine. Does that count? :)
25. Go snowboarding- yea, snowboarding and pregnancy don't go together.
26. Go to a spa
27. Update my passport (maiden name probably won't cut it anymore)
28. Clean out closet and donate clothes
29. Swimming lessons with Ethan
30. Put music on my iphone (finally)

**Those in red are ones that I have accomplished. :)

I hope you enjoy this fun little recap. More on the 20-10 club later. :)

Ethan's turns three celebrations!

2011-03-12T07:51:00.001-08:00

Awhile back I promised some photos from Ethan's 3rd birthday celebrations. SO here you go.

On his actual birthday it was an night ALL about him. The dinner was all the food he loves, you know those lovely and oh so healthy toddler foods. We had sting cheese, jello cups, goldfish crackers, Mickey Mouse chicken nuggets, and some juice boxes. Before his birthday I asked him what kind of cake he wanted. Thinking for sure it would be Lightening McQueen. But he said "a frosting cake." When further prompted he asked for a "blue frosting cake with Toy Story." I didn't realize we went with an entire Toy Story theme until his actual birthday, right down to his birthday gifts from Chris and I. Honestly I really didn't plan it. I actual started shopping back at black Friday and slowly started picking things up and then took advantage of those wonderful after Christmas clearance isles at Target. So a complete Toy Story theme is what he got.

We also took him to Chuck E Cheese with some friends. He had so much fun, he loves to play skeeball on my phone and thought the life sized version was too die for.

But he really liked this game...he would drop a ball and it would bounce around and land on a number and out would pop tickets; instant gratification!

Overall I think our little guy had a great third birthday! Happy birthday E. We can't wait to see how much you grown and change and how God shapes your life! You are such a joy!

In the Mood...

2011-03-06T21:43:00.000-08:00

to BLOG!

But I have a bunch of things to do tonight before the work week starts. Maybe in the next couple days I will get to blog.

Things to cover:

30 before 30 status
the 20-10 club
28 week appointment
and I am sure some other things will pop up in my mind between now and my blogging time.

Have a Happy Monday all!!

27 weeks

2011-02-24T20:13:00.000-08:00

I am nearing the end of the second trimester and yes I am still off of bedrest. WOOOHOOO! Praise God, He is awesome! I really thought by now that I would be on bedrest, but so far so good. I go back to the doctor next week.

Here is a photo of me now at 27 weeks. Don't mind the grainy photo shot, or the prenatal vitamins, tums, Pepcid AC, water, lotion (for my gigantic belly), etc on the nightstand on my side of the bed.

This is me pregnant with Ethan at 3o weeks. I think I am this big now if not bigger than I was with Ethan. I am almost grown out of clothes I wore with Ethan at the very end of the pregnancy. Oh man! :)

Ethan turns three

2011-02-20T05:47:00.000-08:00

My little guy turned three a couple weeks ago. We had decided this year to keep it relatively low key, no actual party. Although somehow that ended up being more than a three year old could ask for. His Avo and Ava took him to Legoland, he celebrated his birthday with his Uncle Walt (Ethan was born two days before his birthday; many years later of course). He an evening ALL about him with mommy, daddy, Auntie and Brandon and then a night at Chuck E Cheese with just a couple friends. Nothing special, nothing formal. It was right up his ally. He seemed to have a blast. I'll post photos of those celebrations soon. I promise.

Ethan at birth

Ethan at one

Ethan at two

Ethan at three

Letter to Ethan:

I can't believe how fast you have grown up. This has been quite a year of changes for you; two to three has been huge. We put in preschool about a year ago. At that time you were not speaking too much (by choice) and still insisting you were a baby and not a big boy. You are learning so much so fast now it is hard to keep up. You can say just about anything you want and your vocabulary knowledge surprises me all the time. You know all your letters and your numbers up to about 15, although occasionally you can count to 22 without skipping any. You know your shapes and even told daddy what a hexagon was the other day. You love asking us "why" and it is interesting to see your little brain hard at work learning how the world works. You love to tell us how to get places and if you don't know how to get places you will ask us to give you the directions as we go (are we turning left here?). You are an active little guy who has a killer basketball shot and can kick a soccer ball very well. You still love all things cars related and went to RideMakerz with your Poppie and Uncle Walt and built a remote control car recently; you loved that. You love being right were we are. You would rather help daddy work on the car or help me cook something in the kitchen then play with a toy in your room or watch a movie. You are curious about EVERYTHING.
You love reading books and one of your favorites is the Jesus Storybook Bible. You just moved up to the children's church class as church and you are so happy to be out of the nursery. You get so excited carrying your bible to your new class.
You have a stubborn streak and really like things done a certain way and love your routines and structure. You like to have oatmeal everyday for breakfast and you have to sit in your chair at the table. No mixing that up allowed. You notice when a room is clean or messy (recently heard "mommy this room is messy"). You recently started a Star Chart at home with all the daily activities you should be doing like brushing your teeth, getting dressed for school, taking your vitamins, cleaning up your toys, and you get so excited when you earn each star.
You love music and enjoy playing your drum set. You are always drumming on things and have even shown interest in the guitar. Although you don't sing much, we have caught you, on occasion, singing along to songs in the car.
You are not a big eater, although you have recently been see eating chicken; we try to make a big deal out of it though. You will eat when you are hungry as proven by how tall you have grown.
You are about to be a big brother and you are so excited about that. You are often asking me to "open it up" or show you my belly so you can give kisses and hugs to Kinlee. You also like to tell me how big she is getting. When we told you her name, we asked if you could say it. You politely told us no and proceeded to be very quiet. After a couple minutes I talked with you about some flowers on the side of the street. You told me they were pretty and after another short pause you said "Kinlee will like them." You always have to do things on your time and in your way.
Mommy and Daddy love your sweet heart and how much love you show your cousin Madison other family members. You are not a huge people person (a bit like your mom), you don't like big crowds or people in your face, you like to be around one or two people at a time. Some would think you were shy, unless they saw you in your comfort zone and realize you can be pretty active and social then.
We love you so much. You have brought so much joy to our lives and we can't imagine what life was like before you. It is an honor to that God entrusted Daddy and I to be your parents. You teach us more everyday than I ever thought possible.
Happy Birthday Ethan! We love you more than you could ever know!

Mommy and Daddy

Grief and Forgiveness

2011-01-25T20:43:00.001-08:00

I have been struggling with grief and forgiveness lately. For the last many months I thought I was just stuck in the grief process. After being in the word and praying, God has revealed to me that I am stuck at forgiveness.

I tend to want to shove my grief, it is part of my nature and I really have to fight it. Like I said I have been grieving for some time now and recently during a Sunday sermon I was reminded that grief is biblical, it is okay to grief. "Jesus wept" John 11:35; the shortest verse in the bible and yet it tells us so much. The emotion that Jesus was feeling as he grieved with his friends in the loss of Lazarus shows us that he was not just God walking here on earth, but he was both God and man. He felt the same emotions that we feel when we experience the loss of a loved one and he expressed it in an outward emotion.

Just as grieving is biblical so is moving on. As a psychologist I know the ramifications of being "stuck" in the grief process and itrarely turns out well. It can hinder ones life and the bible actually tells us that when Sarah died, Abraham came to mourn and weep for her. It then tells us that Abraham stood up. "So Sarah died inKirjath Arba in the land of Canaan, and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. The Abraham stood up from before his dead..." Genesis 23:2-3 (half of 3). As hard as it may have been for Abraham to lose Sarah he "stood up" and had many more fruitful years. The words stood up really resonated with me. As I have looked back on the grief that I am dealing with I find that yes I have cried and been angry and then I have tried to pretend like all is the same and that nothing really changed. I have refused to put myself out there and really actually "stand up" and move forward with what God has planned for me. I find that I have tried to go on as if all was the same when in reality everything is changed.

The hurt, the sadness, the utter-confusion is still there and I don't know what will happen to it, but I do know that I need to move forward with the plans that God has for my life and although that person indeed influenced me for a time, it was only a chapter in the plan that God has for my life. My unwillingness to accept and move forward was really being hindered by a willingness to not forgive. I think for me this step is so key in my grief processes. The forgiveness in this case is so complex that sometimes myfeeble human brain can not understand it. But I know that in order to move forward I must learn to forgive and seek God's guidance in what that looks like. Exodus 14:14 says "The Lord will fight for you, and you shall keep your peace." In everything that has gone on in the last many months that is what I seek...peace. I will work on standing up, moving forward, and working to a place of forgiveness and peace, with God's strength.

20 weeks

2011-01-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

Actually I am 21 weeks as of Sunday, but I wanted to blog the halfway mark and I am just getting around to it. Ooops.
Well like I said 20 weeks, and we are halfway to getting to meet our little girl. We don't have names yet. We go back and forth. Well actually I suggest names and Christopher veto's them. One day she will have a name. I guess we have time.

So far things have been pretty uneventful, which is HUGE for us! I had the preventative cerclage put in when I was at 13 weeks and then was on strict bedrest for one week, then had 30% mobility the next week, then 60 % and then finally was back to 100%. So now I am back to work and life as normal.

I do have some contractions here and there, I have noticed that alot of it depends on how much sleep I get, so I have been trying to make sure I rest, take things slowly and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Although some nights no matter what I do I don't sleep good. But I am trying. And if I look like I am doing too much my sister and Chris put me back in my place. I have gained quite a bit of weight so far, mostly in the last couple weeks. It seems my belly just popped out overnight. It doesn't help that I am always hungry and could eat anything I see. Just like when I was pregnant with Ethan, I am lactose in tolerate this time. It is really difficult for me since I LOVE all things dairy. But my doctors have said I can take lactaid pills, so I will take those when I really must have some dairy.

I am starting to feel her move around. Chris still can't feel her yet, but I know it will be soon as her kicks are getting stronger and more frequent.

Ethan is super excited to have a sister. He still thinks we should name her Ethan. We have tried to explain why this is not an option but he doesn't fully grasp it. He loves to give her kisses and hugs and is always asking me to "open baby up," meaning show him my actual belly so he can talk directly to my belly button. We have had to tell him, on a couple different occasions that we don't do that in public. We are so excited to see him be a big brother, he will be great with her!

We feel so blessed that this pregnancy is going so much smoother. I must say though, I am still a bit nervous. Even though everything is looking good so far it wasn't until week 21 with Ethan that we had all the major complications. So I am nervous, but believing that God's hand is on us and our baby girl.

Dinner Time

2011-01-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

Honestly speaking I do not cook much. I wish I did, I used to cook more but really I find myself exhausted when I get home from work. The last thing I want to do is cook (read: dirty a kitchen) and then clean up the kitchen (plus I would rather bake than cook). I would rather spend time with my boys. Also our nights are often full. I recently started going to our women's bible study on Tuesday nights. A while back I had chosen to not attend the women's study; I felt that I worked full time and don't spend enough time with E as it is. But God has been urging me to go and so this school year I started going and I have been blessed by going. On Wednesday nights we have youth worship practice and then youth group and every other Friday we have the young/college age bible study we have been going to for a long time. I know those are all excuses but honestly lots of nights it just didn't feel like we had time for a home cooked meal. So often we chose convenience type meals, I try to make them as healthy as we can, but you can only make a convenience meal so healthy.

This has been something that has bothered me for sometime. Over the last two years I have tried different options one of which is those prep kitchens where you go and prepare a bunch of meals to take home and freeze. We did that once and I was over it. The recipes they used and had us make were bland tasting and it was just as expensive as eating out, actually it was slight more than eating out. Not the solution I wanted. Periodically, but not consistently, I have made weekly meal plans and gone on a big shopping trip. It works and it last about a week and then we fall back into old habits.

So this past weekend I sat down and made a meal plan. Yes I realize we have not followed through with this before, but I am hoping if I sit down and write it on the blog there will be some accountability and maybe even a bit of advice and some easy meal recipes that come from my very few blog readers. But back to this weekend, well Thursday really (remember I was just off work for two weeks) Chris and I sat down and made a meal plan for about a week and a half. I wrote out the grocery list to include all the ingredients we will need for all the meals. Friday we went to Costco and Sunday we went to the grocery store to get the remainder of the ingredients that I could not get at Costco (I do not like the grocery store, especially when pregnant; there is just too many conflicting smells). And Sunday night I set out to make some meals.

For dinner on Sunday we had fajitas and while making the fajitas, I also made tortilla soup that we will eat on Tuesday before I go to bible study. It was pretty to easy to make both those at the same time. I was excited. I also made a double batch of fajitas so we will have leftover fajitas on Wednesday before youth worship practice/youth group. I was pretty proud of myself, three meals in the time to make one! Then tonight we had Kielbasa (I'm part German and love some good sausage, not too healthy but better than a $5 pizza), broccoli and fettuchini. Thursday I will make pesto Chicken with a light dusting of mozzarella and Friday is Taco Casserole, aka. Spanish Delight, before our bible study.

Whew I think we will get through the whole week and I have a plan for next week too. It felt really good to take the time out of my break to sit down and organize my family's eating. It is something that always bugs me, but I just haven't felt like I have the time to devote to fixing it; but I think I am on a solid track to getting us to eat right and at home more! If any of you all have any easy recipes that would be conducive to making and freezing or frigerating for a couple days feel free to share. My goal is to make at least two or three meals on the weekend to get us through the busy week nights. I hope it works. I'll keep you posted.

2010

2010-12-31T09:44:00.000-08:00

In some ways I can't believe that 2010 is over, in other ways I can't believe it has taken this long to over. As I have been reflecting back, I think it is safe to say this has been the most difficult year of my/our lives. This has been a year of incredible highs and some of the lowest lows for Chris and I, in just about every aspect of our life, spiritually, emotionally, personally, financially, you name it. But it has also been the year I have so clearly seen God's hand in the trials. In what I consider to be the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with (sorry for the vagueness, but for the privacy of others it just isn't appropriate to divulge all info on this trial), I was amazed to see God's hand move in ways that I thought would never happen and frankly where not possible. But God continues to amazing me and show me that nothing is out of His reach and nothing is impossible for Him, which gives me continued hope for healing for others, and continued hope for this coming new year.
This has not been all valley's we have had some great things happen in our own life and are so looking forward to many things. One of which is the upcoming birth of our baby girl (more updates to come on that later). I am excited to see the wonderful things God will continue to do in 2011! Hope everyone has a great night.

Knowledge or Ignorance

2010-12-01T21:27:00.000-08:00

About two weeks ago I found myself wondering "Is ignorance bliss, or is knowing half the battle." Kind of a weird question I guess, but at that moment I was seriously contemplating that. I am about 15 weeks pregnant with our second child (since I have not blogged much lately, I guess that was my official announcement about that). When I was pregnant with Ethan we found out I had an "incompetent cervix." I had to have emergency surgery to keep from giving birth in the second trimester and then the 15 weeks of bedrest. The doctors told me the second time would be different. Yes the medical issue is still there but the surgery would be preventative, would take place early on and I would have minimal bedrest, hopefully only as a recovery to the surgery. At that time I thought knowing is half the battle; next time around this will be manageable.
Well I had the surgery about two weeks ago. I was shocked at how much pain I was in. I didn't remember the pain from the surgery before, I just remember the annoying bedrest. Chris gently reminded me that I was in the hospital for days following the first surgery and had an IV that nurses where pumping meds into. I was in a state of shock by all that was going on that I must have missed that piece where the nurses where pumping me full of pain killers. Ignorance is bliss!?!?
This time I came home hours after the surgery. I thought bedrest would be nothing, for crying out loud I was on it for 15 weeks last time, this time it was only for two weeks. As long as everything recovered fine. After a day or two I found myself annoyed at bedrest and wondering how on earth I could handle this for another week or more. Really, "Hello Amanda, 15 weeks last time, two this time." What a baby I was being. So I started to wonder, why did this seem more challenging for me? I knew what to expect. I think for me, in this situation, I did much better with the ignorance. When I did not know what was going on, and the doctors were telling me if I got up my baby could be born right then and there, I just did what they said. Not that it wasn't hard (I really struggled emotionally with all of it) , but I was just in a state of shock with all this new info. This time I know the risk, I know that everything that can be done preventatively was and is being done and I know the surgery was done WAY before it became a problem so staying in bed was hard!
I still think that the majority of the time knowing is half the battle, but in this case, my type A personality took over yet again and had it all planned out, and it turned out to be harder than I expected. When will I learn that God is in control and I need to give it all to him and find joy in the moment and not expect things to go my way. As much as I love to know all, some times I do better when I am ignorant.
Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel that way?

Buzz Lightyear

2010-10-29T19:57:00.001-07:00

I am usually not the one to get into the Halloween spirit (besides carving pumpkins). I just don't get into the whole dressing up thing. But this year I seem to be having more fun with it. Our church has decided to do a harvest festival tomorrow and we are taking Ethan and then also working a booth with our youth group kids.
Anyway back to my point...I think it is insane how much people will spend on costumes for this holiday. So a month or so ago, while at the mall, Ethan and made out way into the Disney store where they were having a sale on PJ's (for the record I also think PJ's are overpriced), so I let Ethan pick out one that he would like to dress up like. With a little creativity from dad add in, we have a cheap, and I think, cute halloween costume.

So here is what we came up with:

Buzz Lightyear PJ's-$10

Daddy made and designed Buzz Lightyear wings- $4.50

A two and half year old pretending to be Buzz Lightyear-Priceless

New House E's Room

2010-09-11T19:37:00.001-07:00

I mentioned a while back that we moved. About the time we moved it seemed like the sky started falling and our lives got turned upside down. I have been wanting to post photos of our new house (mainly for my records, but some people have actually ask to see them. shocking!). I did a post a while back showing our backyard and grass we put in. Well today I am going to show you some photos of Ethan's room. Eventually I will show photos of the whole house, but like I said things got turned upside down so although we have been living here a while it only just now getting FULLY decorated.Ethan loves his sports themed bedding. He also has Lightning McQueen sheets that Gamma made for him. He LOVES those!

Daddy screen printed this poster a long time ago. When we moved we found it (funny how that happens) and thought it would look cool in Ethan's room.

Ethan's room with all his toys in their home. This is not always the case. This is just minutes after we finished cleaning his room.

N-Tee Sami and Mommy painted these mini canvases for Ethan's room of all things Ethan: a baseball, robot, football, car and a bug. He loves them all.

My Ethan looking up at the aforementioned paintings (I had just finished hanging them). Ethan we love you so much baby!!!

**As we continue to finish the rest of the house I will post more tours. We are getting close, we spent all day today cleaning out the remaining boxes in the garage and hanging things on the walls throughout the house.

Questions

2010-08-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

I was recently tagged in a friends blog to answer some fun questions. Here are my answers.

1. What is your signature color?

I must say it is probably black, for clothing anyway. I am trying to branch out a bit more, but it looks good with everything, it usually looks more put together than other colors and it looks with the blonde hair.

For my house I have been into that brighter green that is popular right now. So the house we just moved into has a nice brighter feel to it. Maybe, hopefully one day soon I will get time to take some photos of parts of the house.

2. Your most embarrassing moment?

Okay one time in junior high I sat on a chair in my English class that had chocolate on it (unbeknown to me). I was wear white jeans (it was the early 90's, 'nough said) and when I got up from my seat to go talk to the teacher I had chocolate all over my bum and the class got a great kick out of it. I did not so much. Fun times (it took me awhile to remember this. I must have suppressed it pretty deep. haha).

3. Would you ever get anything pierced other than your ears? If yes, what?

I think I would get a teeny tiny piercing on my nose. But I don't even wear earrings anymore so I am not thinking that is likely.

4. Are you a social butterfly or a homebody?

I am a homebody, an introvert. Over the years I have learned to be more outgoing and when I am with people that I am very comfortable with and know well I can appear outgoing. But I prefer to not go to big group things, and I don't meet people well. It isn't that I don't want to be social or meet new people, it is that I am always so worried that I am not making a good impression that I might be annoying them. It is very anxiety producing for me. It is much easier for me to open up on the blog or on FB becuase it is not face to face. I know that seems a bit wierd but it is true.

Example: When I was a toddler I would only speak at home to my parents. Extended family thought I was mute for a long time. My parents put me in preschool to help me socialize more.

5. Are you done having babies or do you want more?

I would love to have more. I am not sure how many more though, we like to to take it one at a time. ;)

6. Are you loyal to your hairstylist or are do you tryout every salon in town?

I am very loyal to my hairstylist, "Little Patty." I love her and rumor has it she might be moving to a new salon and I will follow her there. I go to her, Chris and Ethan do, my sister Sam and even mom. Not to mention a handful of friends who all recommended her to me.

7. How many times have you moved in your life?

I have moved 9 times in my life. Of that 9, four of them were in college alone. I didn't think too much about moving as a kid (I only moved twice then) but as an adult I must say it is something I don't like.

8. If you could plan your dream vacation with just you and your love where would it be?

Probably Greece or Italy or some sort of European backpacking vacation.

here are my tags:

Two Little Monkeys

Samantha Michelle Photography

Adventures of the Matlocks

Legoland

2010-08-13T16:18:00.000-07:00

Today Ethan and I had a chance to go to Legoland. I had never been. Ethan went one time when he was one with Chris, but I ended up with food poisoning so I missed out. Well today my good friend Stacey had a free pass and used it on me. That was nice of her. Thanks Stace.

The boys had such a wonderful time, they are such great friends.

Ethan giving N a hug. So cute.

The boys got to play on the cool Duplo playgrounds. There was even a train ride that they got to go on by themselves. Made me a little sad that he could ride a ride without me. But he LOVED it and had a fantastic time on it.

They a huge "splash pad playground complete with waterslides. N LOVED the water slides. Ethan on the other hand had a great time watching N, but never got any higher than the third step up. He is not a fan of water dropping on his face from above. :)

Stace and N riding the plane ride.
Look I was even there. :) A rare self portrait to prove my attendance.
It is such a great park for little kids. The boys had a great time and now both of them are fast asleep napping to their hearts content.

Our house-yard

2010-07-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

Like I have mentioned previously, the last couple months have been busy and filled with LOTS of changes. One of the more positive changes is that we have moved. We had been wanting to move for quite some time, but there was lots of things in the way. But those things are no more and a couple months ago we moved into a cute little house in the neighboring city. We LOVE it. The neighborhood is quiet and safe, we have a garage and a yard and Auntie Sami has her own room instead of my couch. God has truly blessed us with being able to live here.

I don't have a whole ton of pictures of the house; we still have lots of things to do to finish decorating and "moving in." But I do have some pictures of our new backyard. When we moved in the "grass" was green but we quickly learned it was all weeds and then died pretty quick. So we decided to redo the backyard.

Our backyard before

The grass arrives!

Chatzski was so excited about the grass that she claimed the first piece that was laid down.

Our friends Jill and Chuck helped us out a TON.

Laying down the sod

My feet after laying the sod down on the dirt. Thought you all might like that one.

The finished product!

I will work on getting more photos of the rest of the house. But for now we are all just enjoying our backyard!

Art

2010-07-05T22:42:00.000-07:00

Last week I decided to have Ethan do a little art project. I had bought a couple of actual art canvases last year. I had an idea in my head, but it was not going to work out after all. So I decided what could be cool than having an actual art piece of our son's hanging in our house.

So I got him all dressed up for painting!I got out all our paint supplies.

And I let him go at it.
I must admit it was a bit hard to sit back and let him do his thing and not help him with colors and placement. But I wanted it to be 100% him, so I did not say anything at all.
It got pretty messy out there; that is why we started this project in our yet to be finished backyard.
At the end he was so excited to show me his finished project! I absolutely love it!! And now it is hanging in the hallway outside his bedroom! We will always cherish this piece of art he did.

Prayer Request

2010-06-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

***Updated- Tiffany's surgery was canceled today. Her tumor has doubled in size and began growing in other parts of the brain, in the last 30 days. Tiffany will be undergoing aggressive chemo-therapy. Please continue to pray for Tiffany, her parents and sister.

Tomorrow morning (Thursday) at 7:20am my best friend's ("Brown") sister Tiffany (my friend as well) is going into surgery. Tiffany has been battling brain cancer off and on for the past 10 years. Tiffany will be having brain surgery in an effort to remove portions of the tumor. Please pray for Tiffany. I can not begin to imagine the fear that one could feel leading into something like this. Pray that the Lord comforts her, is with the surgeons, and for complete healing if it is God's will. Also I ask that you please pray for the family, her parents and her sister. They are a very close family, who love God and I know this battle is exhausting for everyone. Pray for comfort for them. The whole family is very dear to my heart and I am praying for them all. Love to them all!

Praise Him in the Storm

2010-06-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
-Casting Crowns

It has been quite a while since I have blogged, really blogged. I have had a decent case of writers block. My last real entry was about 4 months ago and so much has happened in my life, our lives. Some happy and some not so happy. Some things that have gone on I am sure I will blog about, others may never see the blog light. Somethings are just supposed to be private.

I will say this, my family, friends and church body have been in the middle of a trial. God's word promises there will be trials and tribulations (I have never understood the whole prosperity doctrine thing). It is not easy to follow God and His word never promised it would be; there is a reason they say the road is narrow. For the last few months I have played the above listed song lyrics over and over in my head. God's word says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance"- James 1:2-3.

This has probably been the rockiest few months that I have ever experienced, but I have also witnessed God's grace in the most amazing ways. There is still pain, the trial is not over, but I continue to pray for those around me, who may be closer to the epicenter of the trial. I pray he comforts them and can provide peace and closure.

just because it has been too long

2010-05-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I have updated the blog. Sorry about that. I did not intend to take a break from blogging, but I ended up taking a break and God has shown me some awesome things in this time that I hope to be able to share one day. Things in our live have been a bit insane, good, bad and ugly; but God is awesome and I am sure I will feel up to blogging in the near future. So for now, here are a couple pictures of my Ethan. We love him so much!!

my little artist-he is a messy one

enjoying his new backyard!

Medical Insurance

2010-03-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

** This post is just my opinion based on my experiences and I know others have different view points based on their opinions. I just needed to get my thoughts out.

Medically Ethan has been doing really well, and we had not had a bleed in about 3 months. We have been so fortunate to have a wonderful team of physician’s that KNOWS hemophilia, they specialize in it and that knowledge helps him to lead a more normal healthy life. Some days it is so easy to forget he has hemophilia, others not so much. It only takes one little, minor thing to remind us. What was it this time? Honestly we don’t know (the ER doctor loved that one). It was just a small series of bumps that would have not even left a mark on you and I. Hemophilia is really a manageable medical condition. By the time most children with hemophilia are Ethan’s age they either have a port (a permanent IV line on their chest) or their parents have been trained and can administer the drug intravenously to the child. Ethan is not like that at all. He is what his nurses call an “Anesthesia start,” basically 9 out of 10 times it takes an anesthesiologist to start his IV line, I have watched many nurses become humbled by my toddler. As much as one can get used to seeing their kid get a hematoma I have, my real struggle is making the doctors and nurses understand why I come in to the ER with him. During the week 9-5 we can take him to his team of specialist, but nights and weekends we trek into the ER. It is always a struggle; doctors always want to over treat him (give him Ct scans and things that are not necessary and I understand they are just doing what they need to do to cover themselves in a very litigious society). ER doctor’s don’t understand his hemophilia in it’s entirety (and that is not their fault, again they are just doing there job) They don’t get why us, his parents, and his hematologist have not gotten him a port and why I don’t give him shots at home and they like to give their 2 cents on the matter after seeing Ethan for about 5 minutes over his hematologist who has been with him since he was one. Again not their fault, hemophilia is so rare that most doctors don’t know the standard of care for a hemophiliac and as Ethan’s parents it is our job to inform them and sometimes it can be quite the battle to get them to understand.
This brings me to the main thing that has been running through my mind since the hospital visit last Sunday, the healthcare reform bill. It has been on my mind so much lately. Last summer I even download some of the draft versions and started reading them. While it presents some appealing things (like getting rid of “the preexisting condition” and so far it looks like there is no lifetime caps) there are so many things that scare me about it. Chris and I work so hard to provide insurance for our son and are so grateful that we can do that. I don’t want my fellow taxpayers to pay for his medical needs. Do we really want to government in our medical records? Do we really want public/socialized medicine? Can we afford more taxes? And the bill is even looking at getting rid of special funding for specific disabilities and taking a public health care approach. Meaning the Hemophilia treatment center, at San Diego Children’s Hospital would not get full funding since they are specializing in certain disabilities (blood disorders, not just hemophilia). Instead of E being able to see a hematologist who specializes in blood clotting disorders and knows him, he would go to whatever public health care hematologist was out there. I have met lots of them and again I go back to my experience at the hospital, they just don’t have the experience with hemophiliacs to given them the proper and most efficient medical treatment. So our ER experience would be our ever experience with him and hemophilia.
It is just my opinion, but I don’t think a one-size fits all healthcare plan will work for my family and me and feel like we had no say. I hope that I am wrong about how some it will play out but I really do want to know, where has democracy gone?

Happiness is...(March 21st)

2010-03-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Recently my sister started a weekly blog posting called Happiness is...so I thought I would join in and post what it is that makes me happy this Sunday night.

Ethan has recently found a deep love for stickers. When given a sheet of stickers he must take every sticker and put the stickers ALL over his clothes. It makes me laugh; he get so excited.

This photo was taken last Sunday. We had an a minor injury that required a trip to the good old ER (totally routine for us, I actually knew two of his nurses from previous trips. A blog for another day). Getting his IV started (that's the thing on his right arm) is difficult so his sweet nurse promised him stickers. She brought him three sheets of stickers and he put them all over, on his shirt and down each leg of his pants. So funny. It make me happy to see how something so simple he can make so much fun. Love this little guy!

What's new Friends

2010-03-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

It has been a bit since I have blogged. I have been busy, life ran away from me so to speak. So for those who are curious, or not, this is what we have been up to (really more for my own recording keeping).

** Ethan has been in preschool for about a month. He is adjusting very well and his language is really taking off! He is saying all sorts of things. The attention span on the other hand could be a bit longer.

** After a lot of thought and prayer we have decided to rent a house in a nearby city. We will be moving in about 3 weeks. So excited to move. The house is near our church, has a backyard for Ethan and Chatzski, a garage to store all of our stuff and we will have a washer and dryer (no more coin operated laundry). The story about finding this house is pretty cool. Maybe I will blog about that in a future blog.

** The dreaded March 15th deadline has now past (or will in a just a few hours) and I am relieved to know I have not gotten a "pink slip." Which means I will have a job for next year. Although I am deeply saddened as some of my closest friends and co-workers received "pink-slips."

** After months of searching and applying, my youngest sister found a job and it is in the San Diego area. So "N-Tee Sam" (Ethan's name for her) will be moving into our new house with us.

**Our youth group trip was a great success and the kids had a great time playing in the snow! Thanks for all the prayers.

** My mom and I celebrated our birthdays recently. It was really more of a surprise to celebrate her birthday. It was such a fun day. My mom had been wanting an updated family photo for a few years now. So we finally got around to it for her party.

Courtesy of Samantha Michelle Photography

That's about it for now. So what have you all been up to lately?

30 before I turn 30!

2010-03-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

A while back a good friend posted a list of 30 things she wanted to do before she turned 30. I became inspired and now that I have just under a year left until I turn 30, I have made my own.

30 Before 30
1. Weekend vacation with husband
2. Go to France
3. Move to a new house
4. Get our debt snowball rolling
5. Get on a regular devotional schedule
6. Finish Christmas scrapbook
7. Have a mommy and Ethan Day 'O Fun
8. Go to Hawaii
9. Take a cake decorating class
10. Get a new family portrait
11. Scrapbook night with friends
12. Walk on the beach and collect seashells
13. Go on a Missions Trip
14. Work on wedding scrapbook
15. Have a girls night out (or in)
16. Get on a regular workout schedule
17. Have an Auntie and Madison day
18. Get on a cleaning schedule
19. Fishing with Ethan and Chris
20. Everyday remember that life is precious and not guaranteed
21. Get more involved in Hemophilia Association
22. Go to Disneyland
23. Go see a taping of a live TV show
24. Get new larger coffee mugs (current ones are too small for my caffeine needs)
25. Go snowboarding
26. Go to a spa
27. Update my passport (maiden name probably won't cut it anymore)
28. Clean out closet and donate clothes
29. Swimming lessons with Ethan
30. Put music on my iphone (finally)

**Those in red are ones that I have accomplished. :)

Prayer Request

2010-02-17T22:03:00.000-08:00

In just about a week and a half we will be taking our youth group to a winter retreat. This will be the third trip we have done with this group and it is such a great time everytime. The kids love it, they go snowboarding , sledding, hear God's word, and generally just enjoying being a teen.
When we started our group was very young and they are slowly getting older. We have been seeing God do so great things in the group and He is raising some of them up in His name.

Being raised in the church, I experienced a time in my life where this religion became my faith. I was raised in it, I always believed in God. But one day I realized it was more than hanging out with friends, more than my parents religion, more than my pastors speakings, it was MY relationship with Christ. I was around their age when I realized this.

It has been on my heart to pray for these kids that they will begin to have this experience. If you feel lead please pray for this up coming trip for our kids, that God's will would be done and that he would continue to raise up these kids and they would answer the call and make this religion, a personal relationship with God.

Thanks

Success

2010-02-16T21:53:00.000-08:00

For those who were curious and don't check out our family-photo blog, the blue football cake was a huge success. The one draw back is now whenever Ethan hears the phrase happy birthday or just birthday he comes up to me inquiring "Cake." he has been disappointed a few times, that there is no more cake.

Changes

2010-02-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

Big changes have been occurring here in the DuFour house. The most noteable change is that Ethan is now attending preschool. For the past two years, when I am working, he has been going to a friends house. After a lot of thought and prayer, Chris and I felt that with me working and not able to stay home with him full time, the next best thing would be to put him in a structured learning environment. We were so excited.

He started last week and boy was it a week. The preschool does not allow pacifiers and Ethan was still using a pacifier to sleep with. I had been wanting to kick that habit, but I am sometimes hesitant to change things when I am working (I think it is a working mom things, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it). I am always so afraid that something will go wrong with the change and it will be hard to deal with when working, so I usually wait until a weekend or a break in work to make a change. I know that is bad, and everytime we have made a change he has proven to cope fantastic with it (it is me that does not do so great with change I guess). So a week ago, this past Sunday night, was Ethan's last encounter with a pacifier. We decided that if he had to nap at school without it than he would have to do it at home also (plus we did not want to have it confusing him). Ethan was off Monday morning, not knowing that while he was gone all the pacifiers would disappear from the house. He has done great! The first two nights were pretty rough, but now he is back to sleeping in his big boy bed like a champ and he only occasionally asks for his "baby" (a while back I tried to break the paci habit by telling him it was for babies, not big boys. That only resulted in him tell us he was a baby when asked if he was a big boy and then calling the paci a baby. Smart kid) and does not question when I say we don't have any here anymore.

The structure has been another big change for E and has, again, proven to a huge hit. Previously E's day varied from day to day. Naptime, lunchtime, snacktime, was different everyday. Now he has a set time for everything. We have even noticed that he is eating more at dinner (dinner has always been a huge struggle for us, with E sometimes eating only one bite).

It has only been a week, but already we have seen growth in Ethan. He is talking so much more and starting to make two to three word sentences to us. He has always been content to sit back and let others do stuff and speak for him. It has been so neat to see him open up more and be a bit more vocal and show us how much he knows.

The bummer about him starting school last week, was that I have this week off. I usually love our weeks off together, but we decided that since he has only been in school a week, it would probably confuse him to take him out this week and then go back again. He is afterall still getting used to all the changes. I love to watch him learning so much, but I will miss him this week. What will I do to fill my time while he is at school?

CAKE

2010-02-06T21:39:00.001-08:00

Ethan has become obsessed with cake since his birthday last Wednesday. He has only had one other small (very small) piece since then, but everytime you mention food or eating he ask for "my cake?" I think not.
Until tomorrow. Tomorrow we will be celebrating Ethan's birthday with family and friends. Ethan loves sports and all things "ball" so the theme is sports. Since he was born during the superbowl and tomorrow is the superbowl, I decided to make a football cake! I love baking and decorating cakes and I hope to one day have time to take a cake decorating class. I think he is going to love it when he see his "ft-ball" cake tomorrow. He will be so excited.

The batter-I decided it would be fun if I made it blue. Don't know why, I just did.

Fresh out of the oven.
A teeny bit got stuck in the pan.
Frosting
Laces

The finished product

Thanks to Samantha Michelle Photography for the lovely photoshoot of my cake! I can't wait to see E's face when he sees it. I let you all know how it goes over.

Ethan is 2

2010-02-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

February 3, 2008. Superbowl Sunday was the day Ethan arrived. It was such a fantastic day and we love Ethan more and more everyday!

Happy Birthday Ethan.

_________________________________________________________________
A letter to my son:

Ethan,

On this night 2 years ago, about this time (at the exact moment that the New York Giants won the superbowl) you were born. Maybe being born on superbowl is the reason for your love of all things sports. That night was the great moment in my life. You were a month early. We had no idea how long you would hold on, I was so excited that we made it that far. You were born healthy with no complications. You were so tiny and precious. The last two years mommy and daddy have been so blessed by you and your life.
You have really grown into your personality. You have a fantastic sense of humor and love to laugh and make us laugh. You love exploring and being outdoors. You love playing with your hot wheels track and have recently tried to bring it into bed with you at nap time. You are talking so much more now, although you are very shy and don't like to talk in front of people you are not familiar with or in large groups. You are learning more of your colors and letters as well as animals. You learned how to say your dogs name, Chatzski (Cha-hee). You crave adventure and can often be found trying to climb or fall (on purpose) on the couch or pillows. Needless to say your second year of life has brought a few medical/hemophilia related injuries. You amaze mom and dad with how strong you are and the high pain tolerance you have. God does miracles in your life everyday. You love to give hugs and kisses and often ask and sign for "more" kisses. You are not the biggest fan of food, unless it is a fruit or a carb. Meat is not your thing, but you LOVE oranges. You have a favorite blanket and are not so happy when I try to get you to sleep with a new one. You like your routines and the order in which you learned things. You love to throw and still think it is funny to throw in the house. You would sit and watch golf, if we let you. You love our nightly reading of your children's bible and point out all the pictures on each page. You have the sweetest disposition. I love you so much and thank God for the miracle of your life everyday. Your life has taught me so much, how to be a better person, how to love God more and how to trust and depend on Him, among others.
Happy birthday my Ethan. Mommy and Daddy love you more than words could ever attempt to express.

Love mommy

Ethan at Birth

Ethan at one
Ethan at two

Samantha Michelle Photography

2010-01-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

My youngest sister is starting a business. She has always had a great eye. After lots of prayer and studying she is starting her own photography business. Head on over and check out her blog!

Samantha Michelle Photography

This is one of my new favorites that she took, of my favorite subject!

This day-Two Years Ago

2010-01-21T22:20:00.000-08:00

I have been reminiscing lately, going through all my photos in iphoto looking at how much has changed in such a short time span. As I was looking through photos tonight and looked at the dates of certain photos, it dawned on me...it was this day two years ago that I my surgery was reversed and I was allowed off of bedrest. All in all I was on bedrest from week 22 to week 36. Man that is a long time when I look at like that. I was so excited to be done with that part of my pregnancy for obvious reasons. I was that much closer to meeting E face to face, I got to get up and get out of the house, and let's be honest I did not enjoy being pregnant so I was that much closer to being done! But the main reason was it was a huge sigh of relief, the whole time I was on bedrest I was worried, the surgery wouldn't hold and I would give birth to E way too early, I was always on edge (not to mention that tributaline medication did not help that edge). Everytime he moved I held my breath, trying to determine if it was a contraction or really just him moving, as much as I tried to be positive there was always a thought of doom and gloom in my head. But finally I made it. I was so excited!
That day I was free to be a happy "normal" pregnant lady. I went to Target and Babies R Us to buy stuff off my registry in person, I went out to lunch. I ran errands ALL day long, and then Chris and I went out to dinner. It was awesome, but let me tell you my body was exhausted. That was the most I had done in months, literally! The countdown was on...no one knew when the little dude would arrive. I was a day shy of 36 weeks and the doctors said he could be here anytime... So when would he arrive?

This is me at about 35-36 weeks

The big project

2010-01-15T21:07:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas break Chris and I end up doing some sort of reorganization project. We never plan it, it just sort of happens. This year...We made Ethan a big boy room. Our little baby is growing up. I am so sad and yet at the same time so proud and happy for him. He has grown so much in even the last two weeks. Working full time, Chris and I sometimes have a hard time remembering he is not a baby. It is too easy to keep him as a baby, but after being home with him for a full week over break, we decided he was a big boy and needed a big boy room. So we turned his crib into a toddler bed, cleaned out his closet (his closet has been acting as our "garage" since we moved in here) and made a trip to Ikea for some organizational tools.
The greatest part of the whole thing...ALL of Ethan's toys now fit in his room. Our living room is starting to look like a living room, not a play room.

Tortilla Soup

2010-01-13T17:11:00.001-08:00

With my mother's blessing, I am posting her Tortilla soup recipe. I love it. What is posted below is the basic recipe, however feel free to add to it. I often add an avocado garnish, but I did not have any, so no avocado this time. My grandmother likes to add all sorts of vegetables like zucchini, bell peppers, etc. It is so simple and quick (I am always look for simple, tasty, quick recipes).

Ingredients:

2 Cans of White Chicken
2- 16 ounce cans of Chicken Broth
1- 32 ounce can of Tomato sauce
One bunch of Cilantro
A few bunches of Green Onions
1 Pkg of Taco Seasoning
1 16 ounce can of Corn
Garlic Cloves-to taste
2-16 ounce cans of Mexican Style Stewed Tomatoes
Tortilla Chips
Grated Cheddar Cheese

Heat cilantro and onions together. Add rest of ingredients. Simmer. Spoon into bowls and top with Tortilla Chips and grated Cheese.

Doesn't it look delicious. Yummy!

Most children like it...however Ethan just ate the soaked chips and the cheese from the top. I tried.

I even had some leftovers so I decided to freeze some, for a later date and then left enough for my lunch the next day (please ignore the fact that my stove is filthy in this photo, I am a messy cook!). Perfect! Bon Appetite!

Pray for Baby Miles

2010-01-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

*** UPDATE***
Thank you for your prayers!! Miles surgery was a success. Doctors thought this would be one of two surgeries with this first one being exploratory to see what exactly needed to be done. But God is amazing and faithful to hear the cries of his people and the doctors were able to complete the procedure in this surgery. He still has some recovery to do so please continue to lift him up.
You can read the full story about God's miracles with this family here.

About six weeks ago my friend and former college roommates, gave birth to twin boys. The boys were born at about 29 and a half weeks gestation. Both boys have made amazing strides. Tomorrow about noon one of the boys, Miles, is scheduled to have surgery for his esophagus. Right now Miles esophagus is not connected to his tummy. Please pray for Miles that the surgery goes well for Miles is a success, pray for his mommy and daddy tomorrow, and pray for the doctors performing the surgery. We have a big God and despite some peoples belief, He DOES still do miracles!!
You can check out their story here.

The calm following the holidays

2010-01-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

The Christmas Break was nice. It was a bit too short, but it always is. I am sometimes torn about my feelings for the holidays. I love them so much: the meaning, the lights, the colors, the spirit, the baked goodies, the food; and then there are things I do not like about the holidays: they never seem relaxing, and it seems every minute is scheduled out with little time to actually stop and enjoy the season. Don't get me wrong I love the energy and seeing everyone but the "Winter Break" (as it is called at work) is not so much a break. I am usually pretty tired once all is said and done. It does not help that every Christmas break Chris and I decide to do some sort of major re-organizational project. We never plan that, it just seems to be a nice natural time for things like that to occur. But more on that another day.

This weekend though I feel as if I am getting back into the goove and have found more energy. The last few days at work I have been able to spend time in my office (shocker, I am almost never in my office, always out running from site to site) catching up on all the "paper" parts of my job. It feels good to finally have all the stacks that have covered my desk for the past two months gone.

Today we had a nice relaxing day. I went to lunch with some girlfriends and Chris and E had a boy day. When I got home, we took E to the park to ride his new tricycle and play. We ran an errand or two (Target where I was informed that it is going to be transformed into a Marketplace Target in the coming months!!). On the way home the sky was a beautiful magenta color. Absolutely amazing believe me this photo does God's beauty no justice. After that we came home and made a nice little dinner.
I am not sure why the last few days have felt more relaxed to me they just have and I am so thankful for that. How has your weekend been?

Illegal

2010-01-06T18:26:00.000-08:00

Someone should tell Ethan it is illegal to talk on the phone while operating a motor vehicle.

The Reason for the Season

2009-12-24T12:50:00.001-08:00

As I sit back and reflect on the year and the real meaning of Christmas I am humbled by the gift that God chose to bestow on us. God chose to give us his son, to be born as a human, to live amongst us and to eventually die for each and everyone of us. It is a deeply humbling idea to know that someone died for me...who am I, I am not worthy, but isn't that the point. God chose to give us grace. We are so not worthy of the gift he has chosen to give us, but God's grace is there for each and everyone of us. In my opinion the birth of Jesus is the ultimate symbol of grace. God gave his only son to live a life he knew would lead to shame and death because he would be carrying the sins of all mankind. So as we gather with friends and family over the next couple of days to celebrate Jesus birth and exchange gifts, I will be thinking about the gift that God gave me. God's grace is the best gift ever.

Hotwheels

2009-12-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, during the youth groups ugly sweater Christmas party, our good friends The S's came by to exchange Christmas presents. Their little girl G is one of Ethan's favorite people. She is about a year and a half older than E. Her mommy took care of Ethan when he was just a little guy when I first went back to work and the friendship began back then. Since they now live far away (not that far though) they don't see each other to often but they both have so much fun together.

Here are the two kids opening their gifts (remember this was the ugly sweater party, hence my strange attire).

Ethan giving G a hug thanking her for the gift.

G and her family gave Ethan a hotwheels carrier. He absolutely LOVES it. It holds 100 hotwheels (his most favorite toy) and it has wheels and a pop-up handle. This is a photo of him RIGHT after his nap today. I told him we were going to go for a walk to the mailbox and he immediately ran over to his new toy and wheeled it to the door. He wheeled it the whole way to the mailbox and back.

S Family and G, thank you so much the gift. It is Ethan's new favorite toy!

Christmas Season

2009-12-18T21:31:00.000-08:00

**Disclaimer-This post was actually written Friday night but due to blogger not letting my upload photos, I am just now posting it.

I am absolutely giddy this evening...Today was my last day of work for the next two weeks. I won't be going back until 2010. Awesome. I have not posted much in the last month or so. December is a pretty busy time in my line of work so I have been a little overloaded with work; but now that is over. For the next two weeks I can enjoy the Christmas season and be a stay at home mom. We are going to have a blast.

But what have we been up to lately to prepare and begin to enjoy the holiday season you ask. Why I shall share....

This year I started a new tradition with Ethan, an advent. Right now he gets little trinket toys and snacks everyday. As he gets older I want it to be less objects and more events. You know like Christmas movie night with mommy and daddy, special little things like that. Right now he is a little young to get that idea, but he sure does get the idea of the little trinkets. He gets so excited when I ask if he wants advent. So cute!

One of his gifts was magnetic letters for the "fridge. He had fun putting them all up and then taking them down and putting them back in the container they came in. I think I have finally convinced him that they belong on the "fridge.
My grandparents came into town from Kansas and we had a nice time visiting with them.
We went and got us a Christmas Tree! Ethan seems to like the tree. He had so much fun helping daddy with the lights and putting the star on the top. We let him put on an ornament or two and when he started throwing the "balls," or the ornaments, at the tree we decided that was good, and finished the rest after he went to bed.

And we have also been enjoying the delicious tasting treats that go along with the Christmas season. Like Chris and his hot coco. Yummy.

I hope you are all enjoying this Christmas season!

Happiest Place on Earth

2009-12-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

*This posted may be a little overloaded with photos. But my last few photos have been sans photos, so I am making up for that.
A couple weekends ago we went to Disneyland. My good friend and college roommate was in town with her whole family spending a long weekend at Disneyland. So if we wanted to see her we HAD to go to Disneyland. Darn! :)We went to Disneyland when Ethan was four months old. I know, I know, who takes a four month old to Disneyland. I was dying to go to Disneyland after I had him. The year I was pregnant we had plans with my family to go during Christmas time. When I was put on bedrest that trip was cancelled but I vowed to go and soon as I had him. So we all went and he hung out in the sling the whole time we had fun, but he had no idea what gloriousness he was missing out on (can you tell I love Disneyland?). So this was Ethan's first trip being old enough to take it all in. He had so much fun with so much to look at.
It was insanely crowded so we did not do everything, but we did a lot. We took him on BuzzLight Year ride where he got to use a little toy gun to shoot the targets. Pretty sure daddy helped him get a score that beat mommy. We took him on the submarine ride also. He went back and forth between Chris lap and window and mine. He loved looking at all the "fishes." He that was too cool.
We are big fans of food when it come to Disneyland and there are a few things we HAVE to get before we leave. The giant Turkey leg is one of Chris's must have foods. I am a huge fan of the churro.
We all went on the Winnie the Pooh ride.
Ethan thought Jungle Cruise was pretty cool as well.
We were bummed that there were not many characters out. We did not see our first character (only character) until after dark and it was Pluto. Ethan did not enjoy him. As I walked towards him and was about 4 feet away, he started whining and trying to climb over my shoulder to get away. We tried to tell him it was just a giant dog, but he was not buying any of it. So as you see in the pictures I was able to get that close but E was making weird little sounds under his breath and staring down Pluto the whole time. Oh well.
Brown and E bonding while waiting to see Santa.
We saw Santa also. Again E was not digging it and would not sit on his lap, so we got a family photo with Santa this year.
This is the castle all light up at night so beautiful. It was such a nice, fun day seeing good friends and running around an amusement park.

Thankful

2009-11-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

*Disclaimer: This post is a bit delayed. Ooops.

This Thanksgiving holiday I am reminded of so many things to be thankful for. God has blessed us with an amazing family that is incredible supportive. They are our rock and they love Chris, Ethan and I so much. I am so grateful for the job that I have. Although I do complain sometimes, I truly love what I do. I love working with children, counseling them, testing them to help them find a way to be successful in school. It is great. I am also thankful for Chris' job. The economy is not so hot and being in business for yourself can be stressful at times, but God has truly provided for us with keeping Chris busy. I won't lie, his business has felt the economic crunch but God has provided jobs and clients right when we needed them. We are so fortunate. I am also thankful for Chris, he is a great dad and a great husband. I am so thankful for Ethan. He has brought so much joy to our lives that we can not even put into words. We learn so much from him, and hope we are instilling God's love and grace in him. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head. Yes I do complain about that at times, too, but I am reminded that right now too many people are losing the roof over their head. I am grateful I have a roof. We are also thankful for our church family, who has walked beside Chris and I, and later Ethan, over the last few years in the trials we have experienced. Those trials have taught us a lot and have created so many bonds and friendships that we never would have had.
There are numerous things to be thankful for. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and got to relax a bit.

A WEEK OFF!!!!!

2009-11-22T21:22:00.000-08:00

I am pretty excited to have this next week off work. So what will I do to fill the time:
1. Take Ethan to his 1, 2 and you gym class at the Y
2. Bake the desserts for Thanksgiving dinner
3. Black Friday shop with friends while Christopher goes fishing with said friends spouses
4. Hold one work related meeting (I am too nice)
5. Finish my 25 days of Christmas scrapbook (so excited!)
6. Organize my house
7. Clean out Ethan's toys and hand some down to his cousin Madison
8. Sleep
9. Workout (we shall see if I actually accomplish this)
10. Blog
11. PLAY with Ethan and hang out with Chris.

I love breaks it gives me time to hangout with my boys and do the fun stuff I love to do. I'll have to do a few blog post about my above mentioned activities. Should be a busy entertaining week!
I hope you all enjoy this holiday!

Random Thoughts Making a Quick Apperance in My Mind

2009-11-09T21:49:00.000-08:00

1. God is amazing (don't believe me check out this blog about this little guys amazing medical journey)

2. Sammy Sosa looks way lighter than he did playing baseball, what is up with that? Is he okay medically? Did the steroids make him look darker? hum....

3. Why won't Ethan sleep with a blanket in his crib? Instead he freaks out until I remove it.

4. When do single parents, or parents whose spouse is on deployment, take a shower? Currently taking that at night. Little afraid of what sort of trouble he could get in if I took it when he was awake...

5. How will the newly passed government health plan affect Ethan and his current medical treatment plan? I like the current set-up; nervous about this change.

**Told you it was random, this is what happens when I don't have much grown-up conversation (except for work). Have you had any random thoughts lately?

A Quiet Night

2009-11-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight it is quiet in my house. Chris is WAY down in Mexico and Ethan just went to bed. So my house is probably the the quietest it has been in a very long time. So I am just thinking about my boys and looking at photos. I thought I would share a few you tonight.

Ethan in his Charlie Brown Costume

Our little Family

Ethan enjoying his first sucker; he thought it was awesome!

One of my favorite pictures; Ethan giving his cousin Madison a kiss.
Ethan-Charlie Brown and Madison-The Ladybug

Life's Journey

2009-11-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

About a month ago I had an opportunity to go to a pastor's wives retreat with my pastor's wife. I was excited and gladly accepted the invitation, however I did not feel like I exactly fit the definition of a pastor's wife. For those who don't know, Chris and I been leading the youth group at our church for a while now along with another couple. We have had this attitude, of gratitude to be able to be working with these great per-teens and teens, but we just thought of this as something that fell into our lap; we were not really recognizing a calling on our life.

Life is a great journey and there are things that seem as if we control and make them happen, and other times there are thing that it seems just fell into our lap. The reality is, at least in my opinion, that God is always in control and nothing just happens for not, or just because. While at the retreat I had a lot of opportunities to examine my heart, my family, the roles we have been playing in each other lives and in others. I came to the conclusion that I have, we have, been in denial about the calling God has placed on our lives. I have always had this picture in my mind of what a pastor and a pastor's wife looked like, what they did, how they carried themselves and I do not fit the mold. They don't get frustrated with their husband and children, raise their voice when they are upset, they always know the right answer to every question, they have the whole bible memorized...you get the idea, the basic stereotypical picture, they are perfect. I am not worthy, at times I feel I am just not worthy of God's love, I am severely flawed, but I am striving to be who God wants me to be.

As I look back over my life's journey in the last 5 years, I see that God has had a strong hand on my life, and used the good, the bad and the ugly for his glory and to bring me to this place where I am now. Those events that I thought were just circumstantial, or just happened with no meaning where in fact used by God to shape who I am today. I am not perfect, I still struggle to have daily devotionals, struggle to give it all to God, but I am striving and trying to answer the calling he has placed on our families life. We firmly feel God has called our family to be in ministry in some way, and at this point in our life it is in ministry with the youth group. At a time in our life, when Chris and I were really searching for and needing the support of a church body, we were brought to our current church (thanks Silla and Jacob). We have made a commitment to follow God and to actively seek his will for our life everyday and I am so grateful for the blessings he has given us and excited that we are open to his calling. And I...I am a continual work in progress trying to become who God wants me to be and I hope as a mother I can convey that to my child.

The DuFour's and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2009-10-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to do a post for a couple of days. I have had lots of ideas for some new blog posting, but nothing has come to fruition. It has been a busy couple of weeks (who are we kidding, month) in the DuFour household. So I apologize but tonight is not one of those happy fun blogs, there are just too many other things running through my mind. So tonight I will share with you all the story of The Dufour's and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (this is the reader digest version, so much more went on, but I don't want to bore you with all the nitty gritty details).

Yesterday started out as any normal Wednesday. My work day was a little hectic and I ended up in an IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting in Escondido, which about 45 minutes from home. At the end of the meeting I got a message saying Ethan had fallen and hit his head and there was already a bump on his head. Meanwhile Chris was having some struggles with many of his work projects, minor things but annoying nonetheless. Chris had also printed a new shirt and was trying to release it on the Cross Your Heart online store. He had recently switched the online store subscription to a new company and when people logged into buy shirts, nothing was working. No one could buy anything. He was also having computer problems.
We took Ethan to the hemoc (hemotology/oncology) clinic at Children's Hospital; what we thought would take 2 hours turned into 4 hours, which abruptly turned into 6 hours. He ended up getting a shot of factor to ensure that if there was any bleeding internally it would clot; they also decided he needed a CT scan (for his age that means anesthesia to knock him out). His CT scan was supposed to happen at 6 but because he had ONE bite of cheese at 3 they made him wait until 9 (a whole six hours with nothing at all to eat or drink). One bite of cheese at 3 and before that he only ate a few bites of his lunch. Poor little guy was starving and very angry. Thankfully the CT scan was totally negative and there was no internal bleeding on the brain. Praise God, He watches over this kid! By the time we left it was 10:15pm and we got there at 3:30. Ethan was wide awake (after his nap, induced by anesthesia), we were all starving. So we tried to go to McDonald's (oh so healthy, but what do you do at 10 pm, you have a very angry child who is starving and has had multiple nurses poking his body with needles). Only the drive-thru was open so we had to drive through and continue home and eat our dinner there, by now it is 11pm. Ethan ate so much and was still so awake. We put him to bed anyway, he talked to himself for about an hour before falling asleep. It was a very tiring night.
Today was a better day, things were looking up, Chris's work stuff was going well. I had a meeting that went a bit late and I ended up picking Ethan up a little late tonight. When I got in the car to leave her house, my car would not start. Chris came to try and jump my Jeep, but it would not be jumped. AAA came out and my battery was very very dead. He replaced it. Our babysitter (whose is also good friends with us) entertained us all while we got the Jeep taken care of. They even got us pizza. We had some very nice fellowshiping that we had not planned on having tonight, thanks to my Jeep.

Everyone has days, weeks, months, years that just don't go the way you want them to. All the little things went wrong over the last day or so, but the important thing is God was there carrying the burden with us and in the end all the things that mattered went right. Ethan's head is just fine, we are all happy, healthy and provided for, plus we have each other. But I am still very tired and emotionally drained over the last couple of days. How are you all doing this week?

Fall

2009-10-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

Fall is wonderful. I think it is my favorite season. Although we live in San Diego so fall is a little more subtle than it is in other places; I wonder if I would like it as much if we lived in a state that gets "real" fall. I don't know.
But fall is a wonderful time. The colors start changing, God's creation is beautiful with all those colors, pumpkin is the greatest flavor (especially the Pumpkin spice latte), there is all sorts of local festivals, and you get to wear your sweaters you have had packed away (I love fall and winter clothes).
This past Friday we went to Oktober Fest out in La Mesa. It was a fun evening of people watching, bratwurst eating, funnel cake tasting, checking out cool things to buy and watching this ride that spun around super fast (Ethan loved staring at that ride).

Mmmm Bratwurst (Love Germany food)

Funnel Cake

This was the cool spinning ride that Ethan loved staring at.

Ethan and his mommy

Ethan and his daddy

Do you like Ethan's hat? I love it! My mom is starting a little boutique called Bethadee Zoo (really long story, but when I was younger I called elephants Bethadee's and insisted that was their name no matter what anyone told me). She is very talented and makes all sorts of cool things. This hat is a little something she made. She will be making some more for us to sell on the Cross Your Heart website and there will also be some for sale at Justice Day. She is going to make them in different colors and is going to make some with skulls and hearts alternating on them; perfect for little girls.

We are thinking about selling the beanies for $12. Do you think that is too much? Give me some feedback.
Thank you, hope you all have a good night!!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

2009-10-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Is that the way that saying goes? In recent weeks that phrase has run through my mind as I watch Ethan. Kids are this crazy creation of the two of you. It so funny to look at Ethan and see Chris's characteristics come out then two seconds later one of my characteristics pops out; and then there are characteristics that we have no idea who to attribute them too.
I have been known to have some OCD traits. Personally, I feel that I have made some improvements in these areas. I have learned to accept the fact that not everything in my house has a place (we may be out growing these 950 square feet), although I do, about once a month, go on a "purging" trip throughout the house and try to find stuff to get rid off (with the end goal to be making enough room for everything to have its own place). So maybe my progress is not that great. However, this is not the point of my post tonight.

This evening Ethan came around the corner of our hallway whining and pointing (like he just found a bug) down the hall towards the bathroom. I followed him so he could show me what was bothering him. He walked into the bathroom and that was when I noticed it...the toilet lid was up. Not the toilet seat, just the lid. He was very upset about it. I put the lid down and he quickly ran out of the room and played with his toys. Umm. I think he might have some of my tendencies. But at least I know he will put the toilet seat down. Oh, and he definitely has Chris's sense of humor. More on that another night.

Update

2009-09-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have written. I thought about sitting down and blogging many times in the last week or so, but every time I start, I can't think of anything to blog. I need a muse. :)

So lets just update...how is the family and the full time working mom doing?

The school year is in FULL swing. There are lots of things going on and I am busier than ever, which is good. I hate being slow, but I also fear I won't get all of my caseload accomplished. It is no secret that the California budget is severely lacking and education is certainly paying a price, as are many things. When at work, everywhere I turn I am reminded of more financially robust times. Walking through the main office at my middle school and seeing a once Assistant Principals office now vacant and being used by office T.A.'s, a counselors office that is vacant, my office at special education also has multiple vacant offices and desks. There was a time when there was no offices to be had and now they are a dime a dozen it seems. It is sad. Unfortunately, it does not appear to be ending anytime soon. Just this week the subject of mid year cuts has surfaced and we know there will be cuts at the end of this school year. It is sad, nerve-racking; hard to work when you don't know if you job is secure. But I am confident all will work out in the end.
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This past weekend Chris and some others took the youth group kids to Magic Mountain for the day. It is pretty far from where we live, so we decided it would be best if Ethan and I stayed home. Well Chris and the youth had a great time and so did E and I.

I was without a car for the weekend (the youth needed mine and I can't exactly drive Chris's truck. Sad) so when a group of my friends planned to go to the local splash pad with their kids and found out I had no car to get there, one of them volunteered to pick us up. It was soooo fun. My friend has two boys N (Ethan's age) and Z (only two months old). We put three car seats in the back of her car. It was a sight; we had to turn E's car seat backwards to make all three fit.

A little hard to see but this is the backseat with all three car seats

They all had so much fun playing in the water

Once we got there the five children and four moms had a blast. Everyone got wet in the splash pad area, even if we did not think we would. The big kids played on the playground going down the slides. It was so cute to see them all interacting and us mom's had an opportunity to talk to other moms. Always a nice treat.

At the end of the trip, we had a tried group of kids on our hands

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Well not much else has been going on with us lately. Chris and I have been busy working, cooking and cleaning and raising E. Ethan has started talking much more and is being his silly little self. I guess we are all just content and going about our daily life. Not much to report. :)

Ethan and his Grandpa

2009-09-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

My dad sent me this photo today. It is a photo of him when he was 18 months old. Since Ethan was born I said he looked like my dad and now I have a photo to prove it.

MY DAD-18 months

ETHAN-18 months

Aren't they too cute?!?!?

When did this become Home

2009-08-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the California High Desert. I lived there for ten years from the time I was 8 to 18. When I was 18 years old I moved to San Diego. I so wanted out of the dry hot desert. Away from the stupid choices I saw many of friends make. I wanted something new, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. So in August of that year, 1999, I moved here. I went to a small Christian college, Point Loma Nazarene University. I remember packing up my parents mini van and them driving down here. I was excited and yet at the same time, sick to my stomach (I get very nauseous when I am nervous about something). My parents moved me in, I met my roommate, Anne, a girl I had never met before from the OC. She seemed nice enough. My parents hung out for a few days during freshman orientation and then on Sunday they left. I cried. I was scared.
Classes started and I quickly learned that to get the grades I got in junior high and high school I would have to study (something I did not have to do a lot of before). I would often call my parents, missing them, missing my little sisters (they were only 14 and 10 when I moved). I remember calling them one weekend and my family was at my grandparents house, I felt left out, I was missing out on a family thing. I cried out in hallway of my dorm for a long time (roommate was sleeping still).
Things quickly change, I met friends I got involved on campus, I was studying. The year quickly went by and at the end of the year I move home for summer. At the end of summer I moved back down to school. That was the last time I would move from there to here. From then on I started to forge my own life, get involved with a church, met Chris, made lifelong friendships and finally picked a major and towards the end of my time at college I picked a career to shoot for (yeah I had a major without an end goal for a while there). After getting my B.A. I choose to stay in San Diego, for a little while longer. I went to grad school, while in grad school Chris and I got married. We bought a condo, although we thought we would leave when I was done with grad school. I graduated again. I got a job in San Diego, despite what we thought would happen. We thought we were moving for sure, we only planned to stay for a little while. I even applied all over the state. We prayed about the job offers. The day I was offered my current job, Chris (who wasn't really looking for a new job), got a great job offer that allowed him to some great connections in his field. We prayed and felt God was open doors telling us to stay a little while longer.
We had Ethan!! I continued back to work. Chris took the opportunity to work for himself doing freelance design. Ethan gets bigger. We became youth pastors.
At some point along the way, over the last ten years, San Diego county became my home. I am not sure when that happened. I still miss my family and one day maybe they will all move down here with me. hehe It is still amazing to me that I have lived here as long as I lived in the Desert.
We have no idea what God has planned for the next chapter of our lives, maybe we will be here for another 10 years, maybe not. Overall though I am glad I made the move I did 10 years ago, I have some amazing friends (I am still great friends with Anne, my freshman roommate) and had some wonderful opportunities.

PS. I am trying to find some photos to show of my college years. I have tons, but none are digital. I will have to do some scanning soon and make an old school post to show you all.

BLAH

2009-08-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have been planning to do a specific blog posting...but I have not been feeling very creative or artistic in my writing right now. Truthfully I have not really felt motivated for much in the last few days. I don't know what the deal is...I am feeling out of sorts, pulled in 50 different directions, just tired. I am all over the place. The last couple of weeks, week and a half has had some major ups and some major downs. First school/work is in full swing for me. We just finished our 7th day of school this past Friday. September and October are looking like they will be VERY busy months for me (I have already had a number of referrals for testing), but there is not much I can do know to prepare for them. I miss playing with Ethan during the day. He is getting two molars and two eye teeth right now, so he is a little out of sorts as well. I love my job, but I really miss being with him and I don't think I cope as well as I like to think I do; I use a lot of denial. We celebrated our five year anniversary, we had a fabulous time at the hotel we stayed at on our wedding night. That was a huge highlight!! And oh yeah my purse got stolen out of the back of my car.
The purse getting stolen has probably been the biggest issue these last two weeks. It is a nerve racking feeling knowing people were in your car rummaging through things and now have your purse and all it's contents in your possession. At first I was very preoccupied about getting a new drivers license, and new bank cards and credit cards and flagging my credit that I did not really stop to think about what they now had access to; I was in auto pilot doing what I needed to do to remedy the situation. But a couple night ago I started waking up with nightmares that they were in my house robbing me as I came home. Kinda creepy. Bottom line it was just stuff, just possessions.
But I am not even sure if that event is everything that is bothering me. I just don't know, but I do know this funk needs to end soon. So I promise tomorrow I will post the post I was originally planning to post today. It should be more uplifting than this.

Five Year Anniversary

2009-08-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

Five years ago today I married my best friend. I love him more and more everyday. He is the person I laugh with, cry with, get mad with, am crazy with...he is my everything. We have been together in good times and bad and our love only grows stronger. I can't wait to see what another five years brings us!

Here's looking at you kid

2009-08-20T21:37:00.001-07:00

Ethan is 18 months (almost 19 really, but hey I am back at work so I am a little behind on things). So I thought I would mark this milestone by writing him an open letter...so here it is:

Ethan,
I can't believe you are already 18 months. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. You were so adorable and tiny. You only weighed 6 pounds 2 ounces when you were born and now you are 23 pounds. You are such a big boy. You have gone from a person that was completely depended on me and dad to this VERY independent little boy. You love to do everything for yourself and get upset if we do it for you. You love to run outside and chase the dog. You are obsessed with balls and you have a good arm! We even have a picture of you throwing a split finger fast ball. You love to read (something you did not begin to enjoy until recently) and your favorite thing to read is your children's Bible before bedtime. You love music and you actually prefer it to not be children's music. When you hear a song with a good beat you stop what you are doing and hold out your index fingers and drum the air. It you see someone playing the guitar you point and trying to run up to them. When you see something you want very badly or something to eat, you emphatically point to the item and then to your belly. Cute now, but if you do that when you are older it won't have that same effect. You love being with other children and love to play with Ms. Shannon's kids while mommy and daddy work. You love the water, although you hated it until about 2 months ago. You really want us to let you go in the pool with just floaties on your arms and not your floaty ring...next summer big boy. You love adventure and entertain yourself by "flopping." Flopping is when you body slam anything fluffy, our bed the couch pillows your grandparent's dog Lucy, anything. You laugh and laugh when you do this, although it gives your mommy a heart attack. You love your sleep and when you need a nap if we ask you, you will shake your head yes and go right down. You have a little seahorse that plays music and you love to listen to it while you fall asleep. You talk some, although I really think you can say more than you do. Every now and then a random word slips out and we don't hear it again for quite some time. hum...But you regularly say: momma, dadda, ball, door, ut-oh, apple (babble), dog, more, eyes, and hi. Brushing your teeth is one of your favorite morning things and when you see us brush our teeth you run to the draw and get your toothpaste out, hand it to us and say "brrbrrr." You adore dogs, although you have thrown one to many things at your dog and she is a little leery of you right now. She will come around.
You bring so much to mine and daddy's life. I can't imagine my life without you. You are an amazing gift from God and he has truly blessed us with you. We pray everyday that God protects you and God gives us wisdom when raising you. This has been amazing journey being your mommy. I love you Ethan!

Tricks of the parenting trade

2009-08-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

Recently I was hanging out with my friend/coworker, Michelle and her daughter at one of her good friends, Molly's house. It was just three moms sitting around talking while the three kiddos played. I had a great time and I think I made a new friend in the processes.
We were talking about our many trips to the beach that we had each individually taken and found that we all had in common that we despise the sand. So I shared my secret. Well it was given to me by another mother of three little kiddos, so it is not my original idea. When I told my secret Molly suggested that I blog that secret. What a great blogging idea. Molly you should totally start a blog, you already think like a blogger.

So here it is my beach/sand trick: When you go to the beach the sand sticks to your skin. If you have small children you know the sand gets EVERYWHERE, places you never even imagined. Well baby powder acts as a sort of repellent. If you sprinkle and rub baby powder over the skin the sand will brush right off. No lie. I did not believe it when I first heard it either. But I gave it a whirl, I even use this stuff on myself. I will never go to the beach without baby powder ever.

There is my trick of the parenting trade. I am thinking about making this a bi-weekly post (I know a lot of bloggers do a weekly one, like wordless Wednesday, but hey I am a working mom and don't have a lot of time to blog now that I am back to work). Let me know what you think.

T-shirts

2009-08-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

One of the cool things that has been going on in our lives lately is the new t-shirt company. Chris is a very talented graphic designer (if I do say so myself) and he has always wanted to start a t-shirt company that has a meaning behind it. So last spring he bought a URL for the company and started. Then he bought some screen printing materials and Cross Your Heart Clothing was created. The cool thing about the company is that 50% of the proceeds go to a charity or ministry. Currently the company is donating the proceeds to an organization called Hidden Treasures which working on getting girls/women out of the human/sex trafficking industry. Sex trafficking is a huge problem in San Diego and so we are pleased to be working with the ministry which is backed by the Rock Church here in San Diego.
Check out the website and see what you think. The current website is temporary, and the new and improved one should updated by the ned of next week. It has been tons of fun doing social networking for CYH this summer. I just might have a new career in the future.

One Day Down...189 to go!

2009-08-10T20:12:00.001-07:00

Well today was my first day back to work after having the summer off. Now I only have 189 more days to go. I can get through it.
As a family we had a wonderful summer. This was the first time that I was off for the summer and Chris did not work for super-intense advertising agency (read: you must be a workaholic to work for them). Being that Chris now works for himself, he had some flexibility to hangout with Ethan and I doing the variety of activities that we did all summer. We had some wonderful family time, but that makes it even harder to go back to work. I am so blessed to have been able to spend this summer working getting closer to the kids in our youth group as well.
So what all did we do? Well here is a quick run down in case you weren't here:

swimming lessons with Ethan
became an aunt and uncle welcoming Ethan's first cousin into the world (we love you Madison)
surprised Aunt Sam by going to Santa Barbara, with my parents, to pick her up from her first quarter at school
took Ethan on his Avo's (Chris's dad) sailboat for the first time
multiple beach trips
multiple play dates
saw Auntie Jolene and Uncle David, visiting from South Korean (they moved when Ethan was only 4 months old)
went to the waterpark
a couple of swim parties
helped Chris print shirts for Cross Your Heart (CYH)
went to an Artshow that CYH was invited to
took lots of naps
organized the house
went shoe shopping (of course)
bowling
new hair-do (me not Ethan, still can't cut off the curls)
went to the San Diego fair
baked cookies

I am sure there were plenty of other things we did...I can't remember everything. But this summer was amazing. I saw God work in my little family, and draw us closer together. So I guess my summer officially ended Sunday night and today began my first day back at work/school. It went well, nothing too exciting yet; kids don't start until the 20th of this month. One day down...189 more to go.

All Good Things Come to an End

2009-08-04T21:28:00.001-07:00

I have been in denial for a few days, but I must face the music. My summer vacation is coming to an end. I have less than a week left before I go back to work and less than a week until Ethan goes back to daycare. We have had such a great time this summer, as a family. We have gotten to do some many things. I love my job, but I am very sad to have to go back full time. I wish I could stay home a little more to play with E, to take him to the beach some more, bowling, zoo, playing ball, all those good things. I have loved every minute I have gotten to spend with my family.
I guess I am just saying that tonight I am a little sad...

Bowling

2009-08-03T21:20:00.001-07:00

Last week Ethan got to go bowling. Some family friends called up and invited Ethan and I to go bowling with them and their kids while Chris was at work. Since Ethan has an absolute obsession with balls, I figured he would really enjoy this. So we went. Ethan had a blast, although he did have a hard time waiting his turn. The bowling alley had this cool ramp thing for the smaller kids to use. They get to set the ball up there and push it down the ramp onto the bowling lane. It was so cool.

Ethan was really contemplating which bowling ball to use. He LOVES to throw balls and he was totally overwhelmed with having to pick just one to use at a time.

Ethan pushing his bowling ball down the little ramp. He would get so excited.
Ethan watching to see how many pins he knocked down. We had a fabulous time. I wasn't so sure taking an 18 month old to a bowling alley was a good idea, but it worked out great and we both had a great time.

CROCS

2009-07-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago my mom came down and we did a little shopping. We had a fantastic time getting her some new clothes and also getting Ethan some new shoes. Ethan had grown to the end of his little Reef sandals, and since we are just now getting to August, and we live in So. Cal, we still a lot of summer shoe wearing left.

I am NOT a fan of crocs. Since the day they came out I thought "yes they look comfy, but man are they ugly." And I just could not get over the look of them. No offense to those readers who have them, love them and wear them; I just think they look like Minnie Mouse shoes. I just can't do it, however I do not pass judgement on those who do choose to wear them. I happen to have lots of adult friends who do wear them.

Crocs seem to be a pretty popular shoe for kids. Chris has told me on more than one occasion to not buy them for Ethan (he does not like them either). Personally, although I do not like them for myself, I do think they are cute for kids. I think it is a size thing. Have you ever been shopping and you see that cute top and the x-small is hanging in the front and when you go and grab your size and pull it out, it just doesn't seem to be as cute as it is in the x-small? It seems to me there is just something that gets lost in the translation of different sizes.

Recently I was out shopping with my youngest sister who happens to be about 6 inches shorter and 20-30 pounds lighter (depending on how much I want to say I weigh). She is just a much more petite person. Her and I found these cute little GAP sweatshirts. She found one in her size and I picked one up in my size. Just holding them up (not even trying them on) we both quickly agreed that in my size it was not as cute. The sweatshirt was wider but not longer when it came to my size, so it looked misproportioned. The attractiveness of the sweatshirt was lost in the translation of the sizes. All that digression to say that I think they are cute for little kids, I just don't like them in my size.

While out shopping with mom that day we happened upon the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale and found our way to shoes. My mom pointed out the crocs and as the sales clerk was fitting Ethan for some cute winter tennis shoes I explained that I can not buy Crocs, because I have never really liked them and because Chris would not be happy if I bought Ethan crocs. As I was explaining that this lady happened to walk by and then approached me saying her husband used to be the same way, but now her son LOVES them and it is her husband who insist they buy him new ones when his wear-out. So I gave in and bought the crocs.

Posing with his new shoes!

This is Ethan's new face. He makes it all the time, we call it the ducky face.

Ethan loves them! And I must say he walks so well in them. We have had a few falls that have sent us to the ER lately (before he owned crocs) so I have been very concerned that he have good shoes and that they not be the cause of his uneasiness when walking. When I came home Chris even noticed how well he walked in them and now likes them. However since we both have a weird, passionate, dislike towards them, we have vowed to not have him wear them when he is older. Unless he really really wants to. :)

And again I apologize if I have offended any blog readers who may wear Crocs. I am slowly coming around though. :)

Beach Trippin

2009-07-20T21:59:00.001-07:00

Now that Ethan has learned the water we have taken him to the beach twice in the last two weeks. He loved it. The first time he was not real sure what to think of the sand. He stood on the blanket and would not step foot on the sand. He sat on the edge playing with sand toys. Finally I put his little water shoes on him that I bought pretty impulsively. Glad I bought them. Once they were on his little feet he was off and had a great time.

The second time we took him he had no problem walking on the sand bare foot. Yeah. He had so much fun; he ran after his friend J. The two of the ran up and down the beach. It was so cute. The daddies even helped to build a sand castle with a moat. The boys like that, although Ethan did not want to get in the moat, instead he threw sea shells in the moat. Overall we had a great time on both trips. You can tell by the look on my face (Ethan's friend J took the picture of me, he really wanted to use the camera, he did a great job).

Look no water shoes. Yeah E!
Look at poor E's head and eyes. They look way better than they did last week (read down a few blogs ago to here the story of the his face).All three boys, Ethan, J and B in the moat the daddies made.

Ethan and J ran up and down the beach forever. It was so tiring following them. They have an amazing amount of energy.
Helping daddy build the moat.

Resting in his little beach chair at the end of the day, fully enjoying the sand; it is everywhere, his whole face was covered.

Music

2009-07-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

When we went to my parents when our niece Madison was born Ethan found grandpa's guitar. Ethan has always liked music. Maybe it was all the Guitar Hero Chris played while I was on bedrest. When ever we go to first services at church we take Ethan into the service for the worship portion. He holds his his two little index fingers and taps them to the beat and will just stare at the guys playing their instruments. He is too funny with music.
Once he found grandpa's guitar he just kept going back to it. One morning my mom found him with one hand on the fret, the other hand strumming and loudly singing baby babbles. He makes me smile. I love my little guy so much.

A Working Mom's Vacation

2009-07-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

So what, might you ask, does a full time working mom do when she is off for a few weeks...bake cookies of course (that is just one of the many things I have been doing). I really want to make a cake, because I have also spent some time watching cake shows on TV, however I just don't think Chris, Ethan and I need a whole cake and I don't have the self control. Although my sister-in-law and her husband are coming into town after living in South Korea for a year so maybe I can make one for that event. Hum...I should work on that recipe now.

I made peanut butter cookies with chocolate chips. I took the peanut butter cookie recipe that was my grandma mamie's and added chocolate chips. Is there a better food combination than peanut butter and chocolate? I think not.

The finished product! However I must confess...I only made 12 cookies. Years ago a couple of great roommates showed me how wonderful a spoonful of frozen cookie dough can be. So the rest of the dough is in my freezer. But they were so good and the three of us ate them while hanging out at the beach today with some friends.

Swimming lessons

2009-07-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I stated that there has been lots going on and that I would back track some things. So here it goes. Earlier this summer Ethan had swim lessons. They were mommy and me swim lessons so we got to do this together. Also my good friend S and her son N, who is only a month older than Ethan took swim lessons with us. I thought Ethan would really enjoy the lessons as he loves bath time. For our first lesson Chris came along to capture this fabulous mother son bonding moment.
As you can see the photo below, Ethan did not enjoy swimming lessons as much as I had hoped. He did not think the large body of water was as fun as the bath. But we plugged along anyway.

This is us with our friends S and N swimming around. N loved the swimming lessons!

Apparently it is frowned upon at the YMCA to take photos. See this lady in the back of the photo, she is yelling at Chris from the water right here telling him to stop. Oops. Just trying to capture this quality bonding moment.

Now we were not allowed to take anymore photos during our sessions, so you maybe wondering if things looked better for Ethan and the swimming lessons. I am happy to report that in fact they did. The next session he really warmed up to the idea and each lesson he was more and more into it. By the end he was even sticking his own head under water and laughing about it when he came up. And you may also be thinking that I am making that up, since all the photos show Ethan hating this experiences. So for you who doubt me...
The above photo was taken last weekend at the pool here in our complex. He had a good old time with his daddy playing in the pool. I am looking forward to more opportunities for Ethan to hang out in the pool with us this summer. We had a great time with our swim lessons.

Eventful night

2009-07-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

Tonight was eventful, and not at all how I had planned it out to be. I try to be tough, I have always tried to be the one who has it all together (even though I really do not), I try to handle emotional things with little emotion and drama (although my husband and others close to me know that is a HUGE front). Tonight we spent some time in Children's Hopsital ER. It never gets easier to be there. I thought maybe one day it would. Ethan fell and hit his head tonight. The bruise on his forhead began to develop immediately and started to swell. The sucky part...Ethan fell last Sunday and hit the same spot. We chose not to go to the hospital that day; the bruise was very slow growing and when we realized that he probably needed factor for his hemophilia for this fall, his blood had already clotted so doctors said to let it ride this time. We are still trying to figure it all; when he needs factor, when it is just a minor bump that needs no attention. It makes it harder that he is overly tough and active. He just keeps on going as if nothing is wrong. Tonight he was trying to run around the ER all the while looking like he got hit in the head with a hockey puck.
Although I can sit in the ER room and help the nurses give Ethan the shot he needs and I can do it with little emotion at the moment, I still get home, and it is still hard to know your baby is hurt, it is still hard to see your baby's forhead all bruised up, even when he is acting like nothing happened. Ethan is one tough cookie with a great personality and although I cry he continues to run around playing without missing a beat (well he cried for about two minutes and then went back to playing). I thank God he made Ethan that way, it makes it easier to deal with this all. I also thank God we live near a fantastic Children's Hopsital who are absolutely amazing when dealing with Ethan. I guess I am just emotional about it right now because, well, it is hard to deal with, but it has been a long weekend, with little sleep from for us all. Ethan is now sleeping soundly and we managed to get out of the ER within an hour and a half (that is really good). His head injury was not intercranial, and Doctors did not feel we needed a CAT scan tonight (thank God, Ethan would have to be sedated for that procedure). Ethan only needed his shot of factor to help with the swelling and bruising on his forhead. God definatly looks after this kid; I just wish Ethan's forhead would stop finding sharp corners.

Monday Night Dinner

2009-07-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty quiet day. I could get used to this whole not working thing. Well I still miss my job (love what I do), so maybe one day I will be able to work part time. Anyway, Today we hung around the house, cleaning (it feels good to get some deep cleaning done that I usually don't get to do). We ran a few errands and then when Chris came home we all made dinner together. It was nice to be able to think about what to make for dinner before 6pm. In fact we were eating by 5:45. I love this being home thing. Usually I don't even get to think about what we will do or make for dinner until 6pm and then I am so over it all that we do something quick with little to no work or thought. But today around 11am I decided we would have Teriyaki Chicken, so I started marinating it then. I must say it was delicious. We had some rice and ceaser salad with it. The best part, Ethan loved all three things and ate a ton for dinner. I had the TV on after dinner and Cake Boss was on, it inspired me to do some baking, so I made some Snickerdoodle cookies from scratch. Today was a nice relaxing day. What did you all have for dinner?

Little Madi

2009-07-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of things going on recently that I feel are blog worthy, however I have not had much time to sit down and blog. I will go back and blog certain events, but I must skip ahead and talk about the latest blog worthy event.

My little niece Madison was born this week, finally. I say finally because although Madison arrived 3 weeks early according to the original due date and 2 weeks early according to her adjusted due date she took just shy of two full days of labor for Madison to meet us all. And as it turns out, the doctors feel, after looking her over she was actually full term!

The whole family is so excited that Madison is here and so happy for Emili and Walt. Isn't Madison too cute, look at those cheeks.

The happy new family on there way to head home from the hospital!
I just love this picture. Sam took this picture (well most the photos on today's blog).
Grandma and Grandpa are so excited to have their first granddaughter.
Auntie Sam, Emili and Madison. We let Sam take a break from working behind the camera so we could document that she was there also. :)
We are so excited to be an Aunt and Uncle for the first time. I think I may end up spoiling Madison (little girls clothes are too cute and there is way more choice for them than boys clothes).
The cousins got to meet for the first time and Grandma and Grandpa's house. Ethan was not too sure what to think about her.
He couldn't figure out why she just sat there and did not play with all his toys with him. They are going to have so much fun together when they get older.
Ethan eventually warmed up and decided to try and touch her and see what would happen. He loves her already!
We are all so greatful that God has blessed our family with this new little bundle of joy and pray for the new family and that Madison grows up to be a strong woman in Christ. We love you Madison!

Belated Father's Day

2009-06-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

I am a little late...but I wanted to say that I have the greatest dad. Dad thank you for always being there for my and challenging me to be a better version of myself. Thank you for introducing me to a love of literature and art and for always encouraging me to question so I could find what I truely believed to be true. I love you so much. Thank you for being an amazing dad!

The First Haircut

2009-06-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

Well today was the day. Last Thursday I broke down and made Ethan an appointment to get his haircut (I could not be the first one to do it, I had pay someone else to). When Ethan was born he had a full head of golden blonde hair (see below). We used to put it in a little faux hawk (not too different than Chris's hair).

As he got older it started to fall out and when it grew in it came in very light blonde with some curl to it. I love the curls and did not want to cut them, but I also did not want him to look like a little girl or have a mullet. So this week when he was running around the curls where "bouncing" and his hair started to resemble a mullet, I made the call to Little Patty. Little Patty is mine and Chris's hairstylist.

This is Ethan before, fresh out of the bath and combed his hair straight. It is pretty long.

Here is a couple of more before pictures with the curls in all their glory (can you tell I love curly hair?). Although in this picture below Chris and I can't help but notice that there is a strong resemblance to Dwight from The Office. See how Ethan's hair is split down the middle of his forehead, that is how Dwight Schrute wears his hair. It is time for a haircut!

The Haircut begins...

Handsome Boy!! Little Patty did an awesome job. She is great. Ethan did not want to go to just her for a picture though, I think he was still a little traumatized about the whole process. :)

For being such a good boy we all went and got bagels (one of his favorite foods). The best part, he no longer has hair in his eyes, doesn't look like Dwight Schrute and still has a little bit of his curls left. He is just too cute for me.

In God We Trust

2009-06-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went to my first woman's retreat through my church. I must admit I was not so excited to go. It is nothing personal, but I have just never been good at doing new things, or doing things where I don't know what to expect. Some of you might be shocked to find that I am really a shy person; a total introvert. I try very hard to come across outgoing and confident, but it is all a big cover-up (now the truth is out there). With the probing of some friends and Chris I went. I am glad I did I had a wonderful time getting to know some other woman in the church and getting to hear great speakers talk about God and the worship was fantastic (I love praise music).

The theme was "In God We Trust;" yes just like on US currency. We touched upon all facets of this phrase such as learning and remembering to trust in God in all areas of our lives, not worrying and fretting, knowing that God is bigger than any problem and even talking about how as a country we have this phrase on our money, but as a country we aren't exactly holding fast that statement. I was not overly moved, but it take me take a step back and evaluate my life and the desires that I have. Chris and I have struggled for the last year or so with our living situation. We have a condo we bought at the height of the market and now we can't sell and it is quickly getting too small (or so we feel). We would love to move and have tried to create our own ways to do that and nothing has seemed to work out. Going to the retreat reminded me that God is bigger than my living situation and that it is all in his timing. So pray for us that we can continue to seek God's heart and will for our living situation; at this point we don't have a peace about any of the options and not even about the option of stay here. And frankly that is frustrating most of the time. We are trying to seeking God's guidance for what his will for our family is.
Also when you go about your day, try and remember that this country was founded on "In God We Trust." Trust in God, he is bigger than any problem you may be facing.

The Countdown Begins...

2009-06-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

well it really began about a month or two ago, but that is neither here nor there. I am talking about the countdown until I am off for the summer and get to hangout with these two guys all day long.

They are wonderful.

This year has been harder than others for me, for lots of reasons. The main reason is probably that last school year I only worked a total of four month. Four months versus 10 1/2 months makes a huge difference. My job duties changed this year from last year. Now I case manage about 40-45 students (it varies day to day; lots of transition) and also work at a middle school two days a week. There is a lot of responsibility. The current budget cuts in California education are not exactly helping morale either. There are lots of reasons; but the best is all those things make me that much more excited to hang out with Ethan and Chris all summer.

So how much time do I have left, you ask...3 days with students and 7 days left of work. YEAH!!

Updating

2009-06-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking a bit when it comes to blogging. There have been lots of things going lately and we have all been super busy. We have all been pretty tired lately with everything going on. In fact Ethan took a three hour long nap today and still went to bed at 7:30; I just hope he does awake at 5am. Here is hoping.

So what has been going on the last few weeks.
Memorial Day weekend, for about the last 5-7 years, has been boys weekend. Chris and a bunch of his guy friends from Point Loma Nazarene University get together and go on a vacation of sorts. While daddy was gone mom and Ethan had Auntie Sami come to visit. She brought one her new friends from college. We had a great time. See Ethan's face. He had a great time.

Since I have lived in San Diego for almost ten years now, I rarely do the whole tourist thing. So with Sam here we did some of those things. We mainly walked around Coronado Island. I love it there, it is so beautiful. We also checked out Little Italy, the art district. I left me camera in the car. oops. However I did get a blank canvases when I was there I think this summer I want to get some of our family photos screened onto them. That will be one of summer projects.

Speaking of summer projects. I am started the big count down to the end of the school year. This year has been pretty draining and I am so ready for a break. I have a little less than two weeks with students and a little less than three weeks overall until my last day for the year. I can not wait to be home with Ethan. We have big plans: go to the zoo, wild animal park, meet baby Madison, hang out with grandparents, go visit Aunt Sam in Santa Barbara, hang out with Auntie Emma and Uncle Walt, see Aunt Jolene and Uncle David when they visit from Korea...the list goes on and I am afraid that the list might have more things on it than time that I have off. What to do.

The other big project that has been going on in the DuFour house is Chris's new T-Shirt company. It is a pretty awesome concept that is big for the whole family. I am so proud of him and creative ability, as well as his drive. I have another blog posting in mind to share more info about the company, but I am too tired right now. So the best I can do today is this go link to check it out www.crossyourheartclothing.com. We (I can saw we, I am can to be overseeing PR) are still in the planning stages for the most part but things are getting up and running quickly.

Monday nights dinner

2009-05-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

I am trying to work on expanding my home-cooked dinner options. To help spark my creativity with food, I now subscribe to Kraft Food Magazine. They have great simple recipes that don't take too long to make. Last night I thought I would try out a chicken, broccoli pasta. I must say it turned out pretty tasty. I would definitely make it again. Ethan seemed to enjoy it.

Ethan got a new dinner plate that we thought we try out with dinner last night. You see Ethan has this quirk...when he is done eating he picks up his plate or bowl and will dump it out, either on the highchair tray or on the floor. It depends on his mood. I have tried desperately to teach him some signs such as "all done" or "more," etc., however Ethan seems to create his own signs like dumping the plate.
I thought I had the most brilliant idea to help "train" Ethan to not dumb his plate. I bought him a plate that suctions to the highchair. I was certain when I went to Babies R Us that this was going to be the magical plate that would train Ethan to use more appropriate table manners.
Ethan always has his way of letting me know that he is his own person. Upon "sticking" the plate to the highchair and putting Ethan in the chair to eat, he became intrigued with the new plate. He would eat a bite or two and then try to move the plate. He was desperately trying to figure it out (such a curious boy). Eventually, as you see below, he got the suction ring off the bottom of the plate. He pushed and pushed until the plate detached from the suction ring. He was very proud of himself.

And as you can see he enjoyed this so much he kept putting the ring on his head, as if it was a hat. Then he would pull it off and laugh with Chris and I.

So much for my brilliant idea of training Ethan to use better table manners. I guess I will have to come up with something a little more creative.

Mother's day (a little belated)

2009-05-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Thank you mom for being such a great mom. I am so honored to call you my mother. I thank you for loving me, taking care of me when I was sick, cheering on my every accomplishment, teacher morals and values, and even though may not have liked it, for teaching me boundaries. I am the person I am today because. I could never had accomplished anything without your love and support. I love you mom. Happy mother's day!

Education

2009-05-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

I can't wait, I have about 5 weeks left of work until summer break. Although I am so busy and looking forward to me break, I am very concerned about so many of my friends and the state of education. It is not just my district and not just California school districts. The economy is affecting school district across the country. I hope things get better before mid-August (when my district goes back to school), but I don't know if the nations economy is looking that bright. I really don't understand why, when it comes to tough economic times, our schools get cut. I feel bad for the students whose education will be suffering; as much as we try to make sure the budget cuts don't affect the students, it does. We end up cutting extracurricular activities that keeps kids off the streets, we cut sports that helps to keep kids motivated to stay in school, we considering shortening the school year so kids go to school less days, and we even try to make kindergarten only 4 days a week. This is just a sample of what some districts around the country are doing to cut cost. Times are tough everywhere you look right now and I understand that, I just we wish we as the adults come up with a way to protect our children from all this economic crisis. Please pray with me for state of education and the impact the economic crisis is having on education. God can move mountains.

Miracles

2009-04-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

**I have written this post hundreds of times in my head; it always come out different and eventually I decide not to write. I have felt compelled over the last week to sit down and write this post. I have struggled to post it because part of me feels this is not my story to share and as a mother I want to protect my child from the things in this world that may hurt him. However I honestly feel that for some reason I am to share this story. **

If there is one thing I have learned in the last two years since getting pregnant and having a child it is this, don't judge. You never why people make the decisions they do, you never know what goes on behind closed doors and even if you did, you have not walked in their shoes and don't know what decision you would make if you did walk in their shoes. I say this because it is this judgement that I have seen first hand that I want to protect my child from.

Ethan has Hemophilia B. In bare basic terms Ethan's blood has trouble clotting. We have struggled to share this information out a feeling of protection. We want to protect Ethan from the thoughtless comments, the ignorance and the judgment that people pass, often times out of pure ignorance and nothing else. Unfortunately those things exist (and it still hurts, intentional or not) and Chris and I have dealt with them personally. Ethan's condition is genetic and we knew prior to having him that this was a possibility. After much thought and prayer we felt God calling us to have children. Some people don't understand that, and that is ok.

Everyone has a purpose in life and Chris and I feel that Ethan is no different. We feel that this diagnosis is a part of his purpose in life. It is not secret that I had a very complicated pregnancy and medical statistics for my condition tell us that I should have had a late term miscarriage (for those of you new to my blog this has already been covered). Something drew me to go to the hospital that night and something made the neonatologist check one last thing before sending me home. I could have lost him but I did not. That in itself is a miracle. So when he was diagnosed at 2 weeks old I struggled, why was my child born with this? The genetic odds could have gone the other way and they did not. I was not mad, honestly, I knew the odds. I have thought about the possibility of having a child with Hemophilia for as long as I have thought about children. I did the research, I choose a career that would allow me to have good benefits (the meds for this can be expensive) and yet would allow me to be at home with my child a good amount of time. I was open with Chris and his family shortly after we began dating. Chris and I talked, prayed, talked and prayed some more (as you see I can be a little type A). So I honestly was not mad but I struggled to wrap my brain around the idea that Ethan survived this pregnancy and was born with this. Why one miracle and not another?

It took sometime and prayer and long conversations with Chris to come to this conclusion: Ethan is a miracle (as are all children), God made him as he is to be and who am I to put God in a box and say that this is not a miracle because it is not the miracle I define. Contrary to those that believe in prosperity doctrine, God is not punishing me and Chris and Ethan for not believing enough. Everyone has something wrong with them, no one is perfect, so to speak, and God can use that to his glory. The conclusion Chris and I came to is simple, God has a plan for Ethan bigger than me, bigger than Chris and bigger than the Hemophilia and just maybe the Hemophilia will be a catalyst for others to see God in his life. I pray that what ever God's plan is for Ethan that he will be open to this plan as he grows and that God will always be glorified in all of our decisions, and that is a miracle too.