He Answers Prayers

The Summer always flies by. It is, by far, my favorite time of year. Not because I like the season (not my favorite season at all), but because summer is the time I get to do the things I love the most.  I get to be home with my kids, loving on them, playing games with them, doing summer things.  I get to be a wife who isn't distracted by work, who can support her husband in ministry more.  I get to sew and craft and clean and organize.  I love summer!!  But this summer, well this summer was extra special!  We got to meet our little Isaac.  After a long and crazy pregnancy, he has arrived.

Isaac Glen arrived on May 20th.  He weighed 8 pounds and was 20 inches long.  He is a happy baby and we have enjoyed getting to spend our summer with him getting to know who he is.

So here is Isaac. 

 He such a wonderful little addition to our family.  He is happy and cuddly and loves his mommy! 

 So many prayers were answered the day we gave birth to him.  I had feared that I would struggle to feel the extreme joy of giving birth to Isaac and instead be overwhelmed with sadness that his twin wasn't here with him. 

 The moment I looked up and saw the doctor holding him for me to see, I was overcome with such joy and a peace that I know came from God.  I shed a couple tears but really they were tears of joy, me and Isaac made it, we had a crazy weird road together but he was here and in my arms.  My arms were full.

 I felt joy that I got to have one of my babies to hold when so many women don't get to hold even one of theirs. The miracle of birth is truly that, a miracle!

 He had every little piece...ten fingers...ten toes...he was Fearfully and Wonderfully made.

 The feeling that someone was missing from our family will never go away for me, I will always miss Jonah.  But the gift of Isaac has given our family peace.  The kids still pray for him and ask about him but the tears are gone.  They have joy for Jonah and were he is, knowing one day they will see him.

 God answered another prayer for me that day.  I had prayed, since the day Jonah passed, that when it came time to give birth that I would be able to see Jonah.  My doctor told me the likelihood was small.  But God heard my cry, God gave me some closure that day.  Jonah wasn't just some piece of tissue, or a set of black wave lines on a sonogram photo, he was a person, he was small, but there was no denying he was a baby. 

 The day of Isaac's birth will always be remembered (for me anyway) as an emotional one, but a good one, one were God showed me that he does answer prayer, that He does love me, that He loves my husband and children and that in the midst of our pain, HE can give us unspeakable joy and a peace that surpasses all understanding. 

Welcome to our family Isaac, welcome to the world.  I can't wait to see the journey your life will take and the plans God has for you! You are loved more than you know!

Wise Beyond His 7 Years

Ethan,

I can't believe you are seven today.  It seems like just yesterday we were watching the superbowl and had you arrive just as the Giants won the game.  You were so little, early, full of silly faces and an inquisitive spirit.  We have been through a lot of the seven years of your life and you have taken everything in stride.  I think back to the parents you were born to and I don't even know who they are anymore.  That's a good thing, they were workaholics who only cared about their careers.  ;)  They grew up a lot, you taught them a lot and we are forever grateful for the lessons you have taught us. 

You have taught me more about who Jesus is, His sacrificial love and focus on others instead of Himself.  You have taught me to rely on Him and not on myself or my own strength.  You have also asked me some of the toughest theological questions that even my college theology professors never brought up.  You amazing everyday!! 

You have so much strength, naming you Ethan (literally means strong) was the most fitting thing we could have done.  You have proven time and time again that you are strong and you can handle the things thrown at you in life. 

You have the most sensitive heart of anyone I have ever known.  You are so quick to give a hug or encouragement when others are down, seem to be able to sense when others are upset or down, even when the adults around you can't see it.  I love how much you love your siblings, and how mush you talk about your brother Jonah and wonder what he looks like.  I love you have faith that one day you will have a perfected body and will get to meet your brother. 

I wonder what God has planned for you in the future.  I pray everyday for you that you remain strong and true to who He made you to be.  You are going to do amazing things kid!  Keep asking questions, keep encouraging others, keep that energetic spirit and never let anyone crush who you are!

Love,
     Your Mommy

A Parent's Love

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As I sat at the red light waiting for it to turn green, he asked me why he was going with me to his sister’s doctors appointment. I reminded him that he had a hurt arm and that we had to go to his doctor too. He immediately knew what that meant and as I turned around to look him straight in the eyes he had tears in his eyes and told me he didn't want to go to get pokie's (shots). My eyes started to tear up as I told him how sorry I was, but that this was what was best for him. A single tear ran down my cheek and I told him it would be okay that he would get his shot of medicine and then his arm would be better and we go about our day as normal.

This wasn't the first time he needed to get meds, no there have been many other times before. This wasn't the first time I teared up about having to have my son get shots to treat the hemophilia, no there were many other times before. But this was the first time I cried in front of him. I am always careful not to get emotional about his "ouchies." I don't want him to freak out; I have always waited until after the treatment is over and he has gone to bed to cry. He is looking to me, to see my reaction. At his age, my reaction will dictate how he will react. He is looking to me to keep him safe. He is looking to me for love and to make him feel secure in every situation that we face. It is my job.

As I went about the rest of the day, I couldn't help but think about God and how hard it must be for Him to love us so much that He has to put us through the refiners fire to make us whole and pure in Him. That pure perfect love, when you don't just stand there watching someone do something you know is not good for them, but instead you gently tell them what they need to hear. Maybe they need to know how their actions will impact their life, or how their actions impact others life's. All to often I think we are too quick to nod our head and smile, instead of offering instruction and guidance, true love.

Our son trusts his daddy and I to protect him and take care of him. Unfortunately it sometimes mean we have to restrict him, or we have to take him to get pokies because his body needs the medicine. He doesn't like it, it makes him sad. But maybe he occasionally needs to see that mommy and daddy are just as sad about his ouchies as he is. I trust God has the best for me and sometimes it is good to be reminded that He sheds tears for me.

LOVE

What is LOVE? It is such a popular word. People love to sing about it, talk about it write about it. You hear the word love all the time. But what does it really mean.

Our society (especially my generation and younger) seems to think that love means there is no wrong. If I love the person I can't tell them I dislike their action or that I think their action is wrong. If you love you must accept it all. I beg to differ. The Bible shows us that there is different types of love, and before I had children I honestly didn't understand the different types of love. Well I knew them, read about them, but I just didn't have full knowledge of them. Having my kids has taught me more about God's love, than I think anyone can. I love my kids more than I can imagine, I honestly think I would jump in front of a bus for them (I hope I don't have to though). And even though I would risk my life for them, there are times when I have to correct them. It doesn't mean I don't love them, it just means that their behavior is not acceptable and I need to correct/instruct firmly but with love. I correct because I love them and want them to grow up and turn into wonderful adults who are respectful, moral, God loving men and women. If I didn't correct them, they would turn into absolute brats. That's what happens when you let a three year old do whatever it is that makes them happy.

I am honestly tired of hearing people defend their behavior by bringing up love..."shouldn't we all just love people." Yes we should and I love people, but that does not mean I have to accept every one's behavior. The bottom line is we are all sinners, we have all done things unpleasing in the eyes of God and yet due to his amazing and wonderful GRACE I am still saved, he still loves me, but he does not like the sin. I love Ethan but when I tell him to stop running in the house and he does it anyway, he gets a punishment. It doesn't change how much I love him, it just means that it can be dangerous for him to run in the house. He can fall and hurt himself (which in his case can be very serious), or he could hurt his young sister. I am correcting his action to protect him (and his sister), not because I don't love him.

I just don't understand the argument that if it has to do with love then it can't be wrong. Some people love to do drugs, so should we make that legal, by all means if it makes them happy and they love it then who am I to say no. If two young teens want to have premarital sex because they "love" each other, really we should just let that slide and watch the statistics of sexually transmitted disease, teen pregnancy, and abortion go up. Just because you love doesn't make it okay and safe and healthy for us and just because I disagree with your behavior and choices doesn't mean I love you less, it just means that I don't like/love your behavior. God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but he does not command us to love the sin and God's word clear in the things we should not do and that are sin. The Bible is also clear and says to "go and sin no more." John 8:11. Not go and keep doing the behavior you have been doing because it makes you happy and I love you and so since I love you I don't want to tell you you are sinning. No He made it clear AND SIN NO MORE. God loves us all, but God hates sin. He can't even be in the presence of sin and it is only by Jesus shedding his blood and covering us do we get to receive the GRACE.