Saturday, April 14, 2012


Compromise is a word that has been on my mind lately.  Everywhere I turn I seem to be hearing people say it, I am talking about it with others, and hearing others talk about it.  At first it sounds like a good thing.  You and another person are find a mutual place to come to an agreement.  What's wrong with that?  Lot's actually. 
When I researched it Webster's Dictionary had three basic definitions of Compromise. 

A.  settlement of differences by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions   
B.  something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things
C a concession to something derogatory or prejudicial

Compromise is something that the world loves.  If you really pay attention you hear lots about it.  One of the greatest places that I think you hear about compromise is marriage.  You hear it all the fact I might have even said it before:  Marriage is about compromise.  I have to disagree.  I feel that that phrase can cause some harmful repercussions.  In all honesty the phrase is probably supposed to be about innocent compromises like what movie to get from the red box (if you have kids you know it's all about redbox...forget the movie theater), and what to eat for dinner.  Unfortunately, I think phrase, the word compromise has cause more harm than good.  And people are compromising things that they should be standing firm on. 

Recently my heart has been aching for the young girls I know or work with who have been in dating relationships that were less than healthy.  In the after math, when the heart break sinks in and they are wondering how they got down that road with someone they know has different morals or values each one has told me they felt that marriage was about compromise so they felt that in dating when looking at a potential spouse some compromises must be made, that's normal, that's what marriage is about afterall.  

It's just the lie that the enemy wants you to believe.  The lie is that life is about compromises, a little compromise here and there never hurt anyone.  Right?  Wrong!  That's how all sin, all mistakes, start.  It starts with a tiny compromise that leads to another compromise and a bigger one and so on and so forth until one day you look up and realize you can't see where you started and you can't see the truth and you don't know where you are going.  

So my plea is this, especially to young girls, don't compromise your morals, your values, your ethics.  That isn't what marriage and relationships are about.  Stand firm in the TRUTH of God.  Look at what He wants for you in a relationship and don't compromise that for anything.   You are beautiful and God has the perfect one for you...and he will meet all your expectations, without compromise; but most importantly he will meet God's expectations for you. 



AML said...

Nicely written. I hope you are sharing this ideas with your youth group. Compromise always makes me think of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They chose not to compromise by eating the kind's food (a somewhat little thing) which made it that much easier not to compromise when it came down to bowing down to the idol (a huge thing). I agree. Sometimes we wonder how we could possibly find ourselves surrendering our morals to things of this world when the truth is we didn't let God give us the strength to stand firm in the little things. Thanks for sparking some good thoughts tonight. Love you, Friend. Thinking of you and your family often.

amanda said...

Thank you Lex. We are sharing this and other thoughts with our youth group right now. Every Wednesday night is testimony night right now. Each leader or leader-couple, is giving their testimony about how they came to Christ and then about their dating experience and navigating teen years. It is going really well so far! Thank you for the support and prayers. They are always welcome! Love you and your cute family too!

AML said...