Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The long road to today
Happy Birthday Ethan!
Today is a great day. I am remind of God's love and strength. Today Ethan turned one. It is a pretty emotional day for me...why because I am big baby sometimes. Every child is a miracle and every parent thinks their child is the biggest miracle, and of course Chris and I are no different. When we got pregnant with Ethan I thought everything would be prefect and would go smoothly. I had it all planned out, I would work until I was ready to deliver, take all my sick days and maternity leave which would get me into summer have all summer with E and go back to work in the fall of '08 when he would have been 6 months old. It was the perfect plan. Or so I thought. God had other ideas, as He always does and He is always trying to teach me. I went to work on a Tuesday when I was 21 weeks pregnant had a meeting with my boss about my maternity leave plans. All day I was experiencing complications and thought it would go away. By the end of the day I figured it's not stopping. I went to the hospital, they told me I would need to stop working today, would be on bedrest until I delivered and would be needing surgery in order to keep Ethan from "falling out." The catch...the surgery was no guarantee in fact it could push me into labor, but if I did not have the surgery I would have delivered anyday and Ethan probably would not survive. After prayer, and tearful phone calls home, we decided the best hope for Ethan was to have the surgery. I prayed the whole time (as coherently as I could while while having a spinal tap). The surgery went well, although I had to be on anti-contraction meds to keep the number of contractions I started having after surgery down. I went home a few days later to lay in bed or sit in the recliner (at a 45 degree angle) that Chris bought me for this occasion. I did that until week 35 when the doctors reversed my surgery and sent me on my way telling me he could come anytime now and be fine. He was born a week and a half later a month early and was perfect. Although the situation was traumatic while going through it, it was not until Ethan's first doctors appointment that we fully understood how close we came to losing Ethan. Apparently doctor's don't have much success in catching my condition on a first pregancy; it often takes one to two second term miscarriages to diagnosis it (it's an incompentent cervix by the way; very classy name). My condition usually does not have side effects, it just happens; God was definitely watching out for us all. We are so greatful for God's mercy and love. He is amazing. My plans definitely did not work out the way I planned. But God's plan has worked out pretty good. I ended up taking my sick leave while on bedrest allowing us to still pay our bills. I went back to work the end of last school year to wrap up the year and that worked out find too.
By the way Ethan's name means strong. Prior to the surgery it was the only name we both liked, but were not set on it. Since he made it through the surgery we felt this was a pretty strong baby and so Ethan stuck.
I want to thank those of you who already know this story and have helped Chris and I walk down this road that honestly was not always easy for me to cope with. But everytime I look at my little boy I think how amazing he is and how God has a great plan for his life and he is so worth everything. I have learned through this road how to be a better parent and how to give control over to God. Happy birthday Ethan, in your short life you have taught your mom more than you know.